Happy New Years

So I never actually knew what the hell people sang Auld Lang Syne for. I know my great-grandma and her daughter call each other up at midnight to sing it to each other, which is freaking adorable. Translated, it means "old long since", or more literally "long long ago" or "days gone by".
Here's the English translation of the song from Robert Burns' original Scots verse (taken from the wiki article)

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old times since ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

So...ahem...there you have it I guess. I don't remember running about any slopes, picking daisies or paddling in streams this year. I did forget old friends, and drink some pints. This evening I'm sure that I'll drink some more.

I always like to spend new years with the people I care about the most, so tonight I'll be with my boyfriend and my two little brothers, playing xbox and chilling out. At midnight we'll go up to the top of the cemetery hill near my house and watch the fireworks over the city.

So here's to 2009 surpassing 2008 in every way. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the massive effort involved in remembering to write "09" everytime I write the date.

Current obsessions

At the moment my head's in a weird place and I have not a lot to say, all I've been doing is looking and taking it all in. So here's a few things that are taking over my brain at the moment....

This blog post by Kate Harding about cyberbullying, please have a read. The second half of the post struck me especially hard and I really haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. It implores men to not condone or just stand by while other men make "jokes" about women being horrible. Except it says it a lot better than I did just then. I was reminded of it while watching SHITTY stand-up comedy with my teenage brothers, who got totally enraged at these idiots going on and on about women being terrible. It was really heartening to see them feel that way, because most other guys I know would have laughed right along, and worse, thought the jokes were funny. I'm just really glad that my little brothers have grown up to be people that I really love and admire.

This interview with Angelina Jolie and Clint Eastwood, interviewed by Andrew Denton on Enough Rope. Count me in Team Angelina dude. She is so intelligent, and caring and wonderful and fuck all the haters man, she can adopt as many bebbehs as she wants, because she can care for them all. I don't care much for her movies, cause truthfully, it's been a while since I saw her in something I liked...aside from Tomb Raider...but I love her outlook on life.

Zoe Bell, stuntwoman (youtube clip) - she's awesome, she could kick your ass, there's not a lot more that I can say here except she's my hero.

Peachypan, my housemate's friend Fee's store. She sells the most adorable stuff, "cute things for you and your hair". Must save up and buy all of it.

The Lottery by Shirley Jackson, awesome short story that I first listened to in a New Yorker podcast a while ago. Great to listen to on the bus to work and silently freak out over.

ZooBorns. Pictures of baby animals.

ROLLERGIRLS. I am buying rollerskates and learning to skate this year, and hopefully after enough time I can join a roller derby league. I search through flickr for hours just looking at Rollergirls and god, I am so in love with every single one of them. Look through my flickr favourites to see all the best photos I've found.

So I hope everyone had a great Christmas, I got to spend a week at the coast with my family enjoying far too much free alcohol and ham. I'll end with a pic of what I got for Christmas.

2008

I was inspired by my housemate's vids of his "roundup" of the year (find his youtube channel here) and thought I'd have a go at summing up a year that I have found went really fast and I can't quite remember.

I saw in 2008 at a party at an amazing mansion in the country outside Townsville. I almost didn't go to the party, but I am so glad I did. We turned up this huge seemingly abandoned mansion, walking around trying to find everyone else. Eventually we opened a door where about 15 people were sitting around playing guitar hero on a huge projector screen. It was an amazing night, I was freshly single, completely happy and ready for the new year.

I have lived in five different houses this year. I moved to Brisbane in February from my parent's place in Townsville - my first day in Brisbane was Valentines Day.
I spent the first few months of my time here making awesome friends, going out of my comfort zone and never saying no to hang out. I drank so much that eventually my legs started cramping up every time I walked, like my body was trying to cripple me so I couldn't walk to the bar....but I showed it who's boss.

I met my awesome boyfriend Aaron and had fun times being adored again. I had a Tarantino party for my birthday where everyone got wasted and silly. I moved out of that house a week later into a house in Morningside with Lachie and Bowie. About two months later I moved into Aaron and my best friend Pan's house just around the corner. It's a crazy shambling run-down co-op house where every night I'd wake up and have to chase a possum off my bed. I spent two weeks wanting to die from having super-flu and losing my voice.

Then I had the good fortune to move in again with my most favourite housemate ever, Bowie.
Finally I feel at home, I've unpacked all my suitcases for the first time since I moved here. I love my house, I have two pet rats, my boyfriend lives with me and I'm just really settled.

I started a course in IT, I'm writing again and I bought a camera. I'm trying to get a little experience in everything. I like being creative. I love taking photos of anything.
Right now my family have come down from Townsville to spend the entire school holidays here, so I'm so excited to be spending so much time with my little brothers.

Next year my plans include saving up for an overseas trip at the end of next year, more writing and finishing my IT course in the hopes of getting a promotion at work. I've signed up for singing lessons starting in January and hope to get involved in a band, and I'm also looking into taking skating lessons and boxing. I want to play roller derby and kick some ass!

I'm happy with everything I've done this year. I'm blessed to have met the people in my life, and I'm excited to get to know the new ones better. I'm glad to have finally settled down and found the time to do things I want to do on my own.

Final thoughts: The only people who play their music extra loud when I'm trying to sleep or relax, only ever play extremely bad obnoxious music. Aussie hip-hop and techno? I guess if you play anything loud enough that it ruins your hearing, of course it'll sound good.

Discussions

Addendum to my last post - a discussion with my brother, about things we hate at home. I'm glad I have someone who feels the same way as me about living with other people.

that's like my whole house
i am the mother figure
they boys get home from work, and the kitchen is clean, the dishes are done
Tash:
yeah, me too.
but man...****'s got the flu
and he's got this thing where if the bin is full
he'll just keep piling stuff on top
so the bin is piled with disgusting used tissues
and i'm just hoping that they'll be gone by the time i get home otherwise i'm gonna have to sass him
Nick:
housemates are so shit
Tash:
i know what the fuck, it's like none of them ever learned how to just fucking clean up after themselves
cept *****. he's an angel.
Nick:
you'd think that after seeing how much you clean, and how easy it is, they would feel bad, and atleast try
i spend, at the most, 30 minutes... dishes, kitchen tops, table tops, and sweep the floor... and the house is much better for it
Tash:
nah dude, the mind doesn't work like that. YOUR mind works like that but all they see is someone cleaning up after them
Nick:
and another thing...
people that leave an empty roll on the toilet roll holder...
Tash:
WHAT THE FUUUUCK
or people who don't buy toilet paper at all....let alone contribute to buying anything else in the house.
Nick:
it's like, if you had enough energy to get out of bed, but can't be bothered changing a toilet roll... somethings wrong there
Tash:
man, something's just fucking wrong with housemates straight up. i seriously don't get other people.
like, is there something wrong with ME because i'm not doing this?
oh man, but the worst housemate ever that i despised the most was *****
Nick:
breaking everything
Tash:
the toilet paper thing...
if she ran out of toilet paper, instead of putting the roll in the holder
she'd put it on top
Nick:
yeah, i think **** does that too
Tash:
it's the little things man....the little things that make you really snap. if you've got enough energy to put it there, why not put it on?
oh dude, ***** never dries his hands on a towel
Nick:
i can kind of understand that
Tash:
no, wait
the doorknobs get all wet
then he comes in and dries his hands on me.
Nick:
huh... well... i was about to say that, when i smell a towel/tea towel that hasn't been changed for weeks, it kinda makes me want to gag
Tash:
hahaha
ohhh i get all stabby when i see someone spill something on the floor then use the tea towel to wipe it up.
Nick:
yeah, we've only got 4!
and i'm the only one that washes them!
Tash:
sigh
the main thing in my house is the bins. that's what gets to me most.
Nick:
the entire kitchen is my private hell
Tash:
hahaha
Nick:
mainly the sink and fridge
the kitchen is cleaner after i've cooked, than after **** has cleaned
Tash:
hahahah
Nick:
i just don't understand what is wrong with that man. i clean up as i go, and it's EASY...
but after he's finished with the kitchen, there will be shit all over the counters, dirty cutlery everywhere, the milk/butter/something of mine that needs to be in the fridge will be sitting out
he forgets what he's doing half-way through it. like, once (i've probably told you), he was bringing in his washing, and half-way through... like, literally half-way - he had taken one of two pegs off a bed sheet - he went inside and read a magazine... and then went back out an hour later
okay, i'm getting carried away
Tash:
hahahahha
no it's cool man.
i'm going to do a blog post about share house ettiquette
i just need examples and things.
How Not to be a Fuckhead while living with Other People
Nick:
haha, sweet
finding our kitchen cloth submerged in greasy water, in a pot that could've been easily cleaned right after cooking but has been left so that everything is caked on and requires scrubbing, in a sink full of food scraps and dirty water
rather than dry, on the side
Tash:
yeahhh...dude i didn't use the kitchen for a couple of days and when i went to cook dinner one night, i cleaned it first, and i found a pan in the sink that had mold on it.
Nick:
eww
Tash:
and we have a DISHWASHER
Nick:
yeah, it doesn't even work if you try not to use the kitchen
actually, i'm thinking about saving up, and eating out for two weeks
Tash:
hahaha
Nick:
see what happens
gotta find all the cheap spots
and dinner deals
pub meals are my best bet
everything with a side of chips
Tash:
i hate the most when people use my stuff in the kitchen, like my good bowls and pots and stuff, then don't wash them. ***** ruined a cookie tray i'd just bought by burning the cookies then not cleaning the tray. it sat on the bench for a week before i just cleaned it myself.
Nick:
haha yeah, **** is slowly ruining ****'s colourful frying pan, but i don't see it... all i ever see is **** inspecting his pan, and being more and more disappointed
Tash:
awww
Nick:
he digs into the teflon with the spatula
it's all scratched up
and we had an oven tray that now can no longer be clean - there is oil on it that will not come off
Tash:
i haven't opened that box of saucepans mum bought me cause i'm too scared of what **** will do to them.
i think i might use them, clean them, then put them back in the box.

Yeah, I'm a little bitter

Well I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away...

Shit housemates the world over, I curse your souls to hell.
In this post I am going to explain how incredibly easy it is to act like a mature person and live harmoniously in a house with other people. That is, if this were a perfect world and the other people lived the same way. Which is never the case. Because most people are fuckwits. Such is the folly that is sharehousing. So take heed, a few tips...

-We may be friends before moving in together. We may not be friends much longer after that. Granted, I will always consider you a friend, but I will forever disrespect you as a person once I see you at your darkest hour, in a pool of your own filth. Them's the breaks.
-Don't touch my stuff. Unless we've discussed it beforehand. Respect other people's possessions. I once had a housemate who repeatedly used my razor, even after me telling her not to. How does she know that I don't have AIDs? Srsly.
-Clean up after yourself when you cook. Does it really need to be said? Another housemate of mine liked to cook GIANT bowls of rice (my rice), then not eat any of it, and leave it in the fridge for weeks. Another point to this is that sometimes, there's only one bowl, or one pan, and when it's covered in mould from not being cleaned by the person who last used it, no one else can cook.
-It's safe to say, if you didn't buy it, don't fucking eat it.
-Parties on weeknights? Get a fucking job uni kids.
-It's seriously not that hard to clean. It takes half an hour at most. Oh I forgot that you had to spend that time sitting on the couch staring at the TV that's not even turned on.
-No, you don't need to download 50 games per week. Once again you've put us over the download limit. No it's okay, we enjoy dial-up speeds. No, really.
-TAKE OUT THE BIN. DEAR GOD, JUST TAKE IT OUT. You know what happens when you don't take out the bin? Maggots.

Above all, and encompassing all these things, is just be considerate to your housemates and take some fucking responsibility for yourself and your home. Because that's what it is. A home. Maybe to you it's a hotel, or a place to hold parties and occasionally sleep, or leave all your belongings at, but for the rest of us, it's a home, and we have to live here all the time. My parents live too far away for me to run away to.

I apologise for the massive vent this post has turned into, but I'm fucking bitter, and I think more people need to know this. I've had so many shit housemates. Sometimes I think I'm uptight, but I know there's others out there who have the same problem. It's just that the majority of people in sharehouses AREN'T that kind of person. My conclusion from all this?
I was meant to live alone with 50 cats.

The distant future, the year 2000

The uncanny valley is a scale depicting the way humans react to facsimiles of humans - robots, puppets, anime that are created to look human. A less humanoid robot would be judged as a robot pretending to be human. A more anatomically correct robot is instead judged not as a robot but as a human doing a poor job at acting like a normal person. The fact that the entity looks almost fully human makes non-human characteristics stand out to a viewer. A point is reached between "barely human" and "fully human" that creates a feeling of repulsion. This point, or ebb, is called the uncanny valley - see the chart below.

I explained it to my brother thus; we find Woody from Toy Story more likeable than a robot whose face is essentially human because we can tell that the robot's face isn't quite human, it's imitating. Woody is not anatomically correct, therefore more likeable.



What I'm trying to say here is that Nicole 'Stoneface' Kidman lies squarely at the bottom of the uncanny valley. This is why I am not going to see Australia. So please don't ask me to go with you. The thought terrifies me.
"Hugh Jackman....help....can't....move....face...."

Dad

please be philosophical
please be tapped into your feminity
please be able to take the wheel from me
please be crazy and curious

papa love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar
papa cry for your princess so that she will find gentle princes familiar

please be a sexaholic
please be unpredictably miserable
please be self absorbed much (not the good kind)
please be addicted to some substance

papa listen to your princess so that she will find attentive princes familiar
papa hear your princess so that she will find curious princes familiar

please be the jerk of my knee i've fit you always
you finish my sentences I think I love you
what is your name again no matter i'm guessing your thoughts again
correctly and I love the way
you press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you

papa laugh with your princess so that she will find funny princes familiar
papa respect your princess so that she will find respectful princes familiar

please be strangely enigmatic
please be just like my....

If you leap awake in the mirror of a bad dream.
And for a fraction of a second you can't remember where you are.
Just open your window and follow your memory upstream.
To the meadow in the mountain where we counted every falling star .

I believe a light that shines on you will shine on you forever.
And though I can’t guarantee there’s nothing scary hiding under your bed.
I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a Golden Retriever.
And never leave ‘til I leave you with a sweet dream in your head.

I'm gonna watch you shine.
Gonna watch you grow.
Gonna paint a sign.
So you'll always know.
As long as one and one is two.
There could never be a father;
Who loved his daughter more than I love you.

Trust your intuition.
It’s just like goin’ fishin’;
You cast your line and hope you get a bite.
But you don’t need to waste your time.
Worryin’ about the market place
Try to help the human race.
Struggling to survive its harshest night.

I'm gonna watch you shine.
Gonna watch you grow.
Gonna paint a sign.
So you'll always know.
As long as one and one is two.
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you.

Friday Night Drunk

Just a quick one because I feel like telling people to watch Hairspray because it makes you feel happy.
I'm interested in self-portraiture, but I have no idea how to make my photos look as good as the people's on flickr. I'm still trying. See below. Yes I installed photoshop for the first time. Yes I made my skin green.
I'm drinking brandy, lime cordial and sprite. Anything green must be good.
My favourite song at the moment is "Let's Do It" as sung by Alanis Morissette - by the way, how much does Alanis rule the entire world? If you don't believe me, check out THIS vid and try to prove me wrong.
Just finished reading Kingdom of Fear by Hunter S Thompson and I must recommend it - sort of an autobiography, he's an amazing person, made me laugh out loud on the bus at times.
I'm going to see Billy Joel tomorrow night and you are definitely jealous right now.
Night world.

Tash Bites

I recently listened to a podcast of an interview with Nigella Lawson, if you haven't heard of her or watched her cooking show on your own at night...well you're definitely missing out, and I'm sure you feel a deep fissure in your soul that can never be filled. Her views on eating, cooking and food are awesome, so healthy and I love her. Here's a couple of quotes that really struck me.
"when I see a picture of someone who’s really hugely fat I don’t think how hideous, I think how delicious it must have been to get there."
(Talking about how she could not have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy eating) "I think that when I see those people who are forever on diets and treat their body as a much feared enemy I think they don’t look like they’re having much fun"
(Talking about her show having a sensual tone) "and I also think that there is something seeing a woman have appetite feels slightly lascivious to people. I think there is something still deemed to be either unseemly or wanton about a woman showing appetite"

Now, let me state, I freaking LOVE food. I have this habit on Sunday nights of cooking giant meals and making a whole bunch of snacks for me to eat during the week at work. It saves me so much money and time, freaking out each morning trying to figure out what to take to work, or having to pay $15 for lunch if I get take away.
Having lived so long on the lowest income you can imagine, I've perfected the art of eating on a budget. Here's a list of items I always keep in my cupboard:

-Pasta shells/penne. Awesome for making pasta bakes and salads to get rid of vegetables before they go off/leftover anything. You can make anything into a pasta bake.
-Mince. Although, that doesn't go in the cupboard.
-Tomato sauce, for the mince.
-Mushrooms. I add them to everything. I mostly keep them just for the smell they give off when you saute them in butter. Pure heaven.
-Spinach. I'm strong to the finish.
-Beans. Duh.
-Potatoes. Chips, mash, baked, roast, potato-top pie. 2008 is actually the United Nations International Year of the Potato - in honour of the most versatile food in all the lands. Huzzah!
-Tuna. Awesome.
-Some type of rice. My favourite is arborio, cause I'm all into risotto at the moment.

That being said, here's what I spent the last three hours doing!
First up, caramelised apples. Saute some Granny Smith apples in butter and brown sugar = yum. I add them to my oatmeal in the morning for the most awesome breakfast ever. Plus, cause they're apples, I can pretend it's good for me.


Next, I made a crazy quinoa salad to use up all the vegetables that were about to go off in my fridge, plus I've had some free trade quinoa in my cupboard for ages that I've been meaning to use. Quinoa is a grain from South America, it gets all fluffy and strange when you boil it. It's like rice but circular, and it has a strange nutty flavour. I got hooked on it after a visit to Oxfam a while ago. The salad consists of red quinoa, spinach, cucumber, corn, beans and pine nuts. I love adding pine nuts or cashews to salads.


And now for dinner - boring old spaghetti. But goddamn it tastes so good. I keep it pretty simple - tomato paste, mixed herbs, garlic, onions, shitloads of mushrooms and some spinach.


Beer to celebrate. Thanks, whoever left that in the fridge!

Reading is awesome

I finally got myself a bookshelf and was able to unpack all of my books from the darkness of the garage, so here's a list of my favourite books in no particular order. I do want to add that these favourite books are only the ones I own. There are so many books I am in love with that I can't remember right now because I'm transfixed by my collection. Pretty much every book I ever read is my favourite, because I don't continue reading a book unless it's awesome. Why waste time on crap lit?

The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
I have no problem reading this sweetly sad book over and over again. It's dreamy and I swear I can smell perfume when I read it, and it puts my mind in a haze for days after I'm finished.

The Beach - Alex Garland
Excellent fast-paced backpacking adventure that the movie with Leo was based on. Much longer and more involved and way cooler, makes me want to go to Thailand.

Still Life with Woodpecker - Tom Robbins
Princesses! Outlaws! Bombs! Redheads! True Love! This book's got everything and it's just...I don't really think I've ever come up with an apt description for it, but it's fantastic, and probably my favourite book.

Dante's Inferno
This mega-poem makes me wish I believed in God, so I could believe in Hell, so I could imagine Hell was as horrifying as this. And that some people I knew were headed there.
Simply amazing, and I think it's aged well.

He Died with a Felafel in his Hand - John Birmingham
While I was living in Townsville I would read this book every month (it only takes an hour) because it made me so homesick for Brisbane. I used to pair it up with a Nick Earls book (also based in Brizzie) and spend weeks afterwards being upset about living where I did. Awesome book about sharehousing around Australia. By the way, John Birmingham does a regular column for brisbanetimes.com.au here.

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 - Hunter S. Thompson
Before this all I'd ever known of HST was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and that he was a drug-gobbling freak. This book introduced me to what he actually does, and the fact that he's actually the smartest most interesting drug-gobbling freak ever. I love HST. This book also kindled my interest in politics.

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
This is just one of those books that you can't help but love. Just amazing.

Now I'm going to try and choose only 2 of my favourite Stephen King books...

Gerald's Game
Actually made me throw up and pass out. Also I didn't sleep for 3 nights afterwards. Read it and see. I have a phobia of people touching my wrists, or not being able to move my arms.

Pet Sematary
There's horror, there's despair, there's disgust. It's all here. I cried, I didn't sleep, it was powerful.

So...read more people.
At the moment I am reading a piece of feminist sci fi, The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin, which is interesting as I'm not really into sci fi but this is grabbing me.
I'm also reading Kingdom of Fear by HST which is sort of his autobiography, with a mess of letters, stories, memos and whatnot thrown in together. It's chaotic and I love it.

You are rude

I am completely amazed at what our new employee deems appropriate to do and say in the workplace. General consensus is that most (not all) of us are totally offended, but won't say anything because he is supposed to be our senior and we feel like we have to just get used to it.

As the only girl I'm not okay with being called "sweetness", or the time when he said "why are all these banks closing?!" and then told me "it's okay, I don't expect you to know anything about it".
That's fine, I don't expect you to know anything about me.
I doubt my Aboriginal coworker is okay with hearing the word "niggaz" being spouted, as well as the remark made the other day whilst we were listening to hip hop that he "feels so black".
Another exchange which apparently happened of course while I was out of the office - one coworker joked that another was a girl. The new guy then loudly exclaimed that he couldn't be - "his tits are too small and his clit is too big". Because that's FUNNY!!

The dynamics of our office team have been fantastic until now. We've all known each other for such a long time we either literally are family, or as close as you can get to it. Perhaps we are having a hard time adjusting, but I don't feel I should have to adjust to things I find so blatantly outrageous and offensive.
At the end of the day, I feel there is more ridiculous bullshit coming from him than there is work, which is the largest problem.

To be or not to be

That is the question.

Zombies.

Zombies are awesome. I love zombie movies regardless of how shit the casting/dialogue/plot is. Even if it's the shittiest movie...I LOVE zombies! I love zombies so much that I even bought a bag of plastic zombies, very much like little tiny plastic army men, just to decorate my room. They're actually supposed to be pieces for a board game but fuck that. I have one on my doorknob and I always forget that he's there, so when I close my door and touch him without seeing him I freak out because he feels like a spider or something disgusting...and then I realise it's a zombie and I sigh in relief.

I wish zombies were real. I have a really big dilemma though. If zombies were real, would I rather be a zombie, or kill them? I like to switch between the two in my mind, because they're equally as cool. I love to imagine myself just cutting through a crowd of them, using a chainsaw. It'd be like unleashing every inner rage on humanity, but since it's ok to kill zombies, it's even better. You know, cause they're not really human but they still resemble them. It gives you release. I am going to at this moment plug the game Left 4 Dead which is AMAZING. Anyone who doesn't have Steam at this moment should be punched in the throat then laughed at by a large group of their peers.

But BEING a zombie? That's amazing. Brainless wandering. BRAINS! Eating people. No pain when you get a round of bullets in the gut? God. That shit is fuckin awesome. I fucking love zombies. Especially the running, screaming, blood-vomiting ones. I love you zombies.

Here's something I found that I wrote when I was 16, along with my brother. We were discussing the concepts of love songs and leftovers. They are so perfectly intertwined - a lot of my favourite love songs deal with the subject of being unrequited, or alone, and leftovers remind me of this state of being alone.

Cold Pasta under the milky way tonight. Yesterday's ravioli will throw it's arms around me, it will make me laugh and me cry, and I may never forget it. Who wouldn't stand inside your stale pizza? Steps out of the stroganoff, says something like...you and me beef, how about it? Something in the way pasta moves. Wild horses couldn't drag me away, wild wild horses, we'll eat mince someday. I, I will eat mince, and you, you will eat beans! Though nothing, nothing will make us eat tacos, we can be deros, just for one day! Lentils, you should've come over. I would do anything for sausages, but I won't do that, no I won't do that. Love is a warm wet relish on prawns.

And I know I'm right for the first time in my life, and that's why I tell you...you better be warm soon.

Living with the boyfriend

I may be going a little too TMI in this post, but I've decided to list the pros and cons of living with my boyfriend. I've been thinking a lot about dynamics of living in a share house, so I'll be exploring that in a few more posts to follow. Here though, I guess I'm looking at my relationship and why it works, or sometimes explodes into shit - and why I keep working at it. Maybe someone out there will read this and reconsider moving in with their significant other, or be totally amped up to! I'm going to start with the cons so I can end on a happy note.

CONS
- Due to the set up of our work schedules, we go between either hardly seeing each other all week, or spending TOO much time together and never having a moment alone.
- It's easy to fall into the routine of doing absolutely everything together and never seeing any friends.
- Sharing a room. Ours is small enough already without having to fit the belongings of two compulsive hoarders. Add to this that he's messy and I'm neat, I often find myself cleaning up the room by throwing everything in a pile in "his corner".
- I've ended up doing all the cooking and cleaning and feel like a housewife. This is my fault - I love cooking so I do it all the time, but the cleaning issue is just annoying. I read a comment on a forum today that I think sums it up perfectly, and can probably be attributed to any housemate situation ever.
'I think it has to do with what I've seen called "housework chicken." Let's say you live with a guy like this, and there are everyday maintenance chores that need to be done. He doesn't really care if these things get done (in part because he knows someone else will do them eventually), but the nature of the chores means someone has to do them. Sooooo "the girl" ends up doing them, and she gets cast into the role of the mother/nag for caring about housework, while he's the cool guy who doesn't "overreact" and also doesn't have to do the housework, and he can just say she should lighten up. Otherwise, they just live in filth until the "housework chicken" ends.'
It doesn't help that I'm a clean freak, and on the rare occasions that he does clean, it'll be a half-assed job that I'll end up secretly redoing anyway. I guess, if you want something done properly, do it yourself.
- Can't escape. I don't have anywhere to run to if I want to get away. My parents don't live near me. I don't really want to stay at a friend's house. This is my house.
- Forget about dates. We see each other all the time and end up ignoring each other sitting in the same room. Dates are a thing of the past. Or the way we end a fight.
- Downloads. Dude, the more time you spend on your laptop ignoring me, the more time I'm gonna spend on mine ignoring you. Then hey presto, we're over the download limit and we have dial-up speed internet. I blame you.
- His clothes. How the fuck can you exist on one pair of pants? It's seriously a fucking talent.

PROS
- Always got a friend. Always around to share the banal moments, to talk shit, to listen to me whine, to watch TV with, go to the city, play with our rats, or just to lie in bed all day Sunday.
- I don't have to spend rent on a house I'm only living in half the week because I'm spending the other half at his house. No packing bags of work clothes and lunch to go stay the night. No travelling for an hour on public transport to see each other.
- Sharing the costs. Damn you low income. Damn you rental market. Damn you economy.
- Falling asleep together. I just sleep better when he's around (nyawwww).
- Your DVD collection. I will never bother going to the video store again.
- Someone to look after me when I'm throwing-up-drunk, and buy me powerades the morning after.
- Having a calm, cynical, pessimistic voice in a world of optimists who make me sick.
- Someone to push me to keep doing the stuff I want to be doing (writing, art).
- Staying away from my friends. It's cool. Most of them think he doesn't exist.
- I just like having him around.

Ahem...I mean...'sif dude I don't care about NO ONE AND NO THING.
Thank you and goodnight.

A little deeper

My greatest joy over the past two days has been my new rat, Reagan. She is the cutest, sweetest little girl, with the softest little belly. She was the oldest rat at the pet store, and since most people have a preference for baby rats, I thought I'd help a sista out and give her a home. Turns out I got lucky cause she's already extremely tame and just...freakin adorable.


Our other rat Jackie is having a hella freakout and attacking her all the time, which is really sad to watch, cause Reagan will just squeak, then sit there being groomed violently by Jackie, and after she's done, Reagan just sits motionless, looking completely violated. So we've switched her into another cage next door till they get used to each other's smell.

Watching the tensions between my two lady-rats for hours this evening has made me think about an article I read today. I know, that was the worst segue into another topic EVER, but I thought I'd at least *try* to make some connection.

I read THIS article today about a quote from the usually babelicious and awesome Helen Mirren. In it, she has said in an interview with the Sunday Times over in UK that in a rape case the defence "would select as many women as they could for the jury, because women go against women.

'Whether in a deep-seated animalistic way, going back billions of years, or from a sense of tribal jealousy or just antagonism, I don't know.

'But other women on a rape case would say she was asking for it. The only reason I can think of is that they're sexually jealous"

WTF DUDE. Okay, I will cede that her first point that "women go against women" can ring true often. But in a rape case, one could be are sexually jealous? Could a contributing factor to this view be that, in our society, when a woman is raped and is brave enough to come forward and name her rapist, she is harshly scrutinised and often met with disbelief - especially if she knew her attacker, and without having to quote any stupid statistics, being raped by someone you know is FAR more common than stranger rape. So what was she doing to "deserve" it, what was she wearing, did she "provoke" that behaviour? The underlying theme here is WAS IT HER FAULT? And the answer is, duh, a resounding NO! There is no woman, ever, who is at fault for a rape. It really is that simple.
Here's what the Brisbane Sexual Assault Services defines as sexual assault:

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual behaviour where consent is not given or cannot be given and includes childhood abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, touching and rape. Sexual assault is an act of violence. It is about power and control acted out in a sexual way. Sexual assault is a crime, whether the offender is a stranger, partner, family member, friend or care giver.

To follow that all up I have this other great article from over at Feministing about sexual assault training and education that is focused on men. Instead of classes focused on women, how you should watch your drinks (which you should) or not walk down dark alleys at night, how about starting with dudes - I liked this quote from the article:

"Hey, see that girl over there?" Jones recalled an acquaintance asking, nodding toward a woman he wanted to take home. "She's almost drunk. Not quite drunk enough. ... What shot should I buy her?"

There was a time, Jones says, when he might have laughed off the remark. Not anymore.

"You want to buy her something really strong to like, basically knock her out?" Jones, a University of Minnesota senior, recalled saying. "Man, that's not right. That's rape. That's sexual assault."

The acquaintance looked stunned. "Whatever," he mumbled, and walked away.

I would absolutely LOVE to see this change in the guys that I know, as this has happened to me - I have had friends of mine say offensive things to me, and I think that because I'm a "tomboy" they think I will agree with them. No dude, it ain't cool.

To end on a completely unrelated and adorable note, here's another picture of Reagan. Love you!

Ramal

Feeling pretty schlumpy on this fine Friday night, so I'm going to post a short story I wrote I think a bit more than a year ago. It was when I was still living in Townsville, and my entire family were all living in the one house - my parents, me and my three brothers (and our chihuahuas!). I've really been missing that time lately - my brothers and I became really close and spent most of our time together. I miss the hours we'd spend together just laying around, listening to music or watching someone play a game on the computer, talking, laughing. I think I credit my style of creativity to my brothers, and the things we came up with together.
My brothers are my absolute favourite people in the entire world, I'm more comfortable with them than anyone else, I love the people they are, or are growing up to be. It's no secret that I hate Townsville, I hated being there, and the only thing that kept me sane (if you could call it that) was my family.
The one place I did love in Townsville was the walking path along the Ross River - it was this beautiful damp, dark, bushy path beside the river, with mosquitos and droopy trees. I used to walk along it every single day after work for the last two months I lived there, and just think and dream.
So here's a story I wrote one day after it had been raining for about a week. Nick and I went for a walk down by the river to take photos and explore. Dedicated to Nick, Jay and Mitchie.



Ramal owns the park. We went for a walk on the moors beside the park, down the concrete stair. We walked most of the way snaking the river and when we went back his name was written in the patch of sand near the stair. He wanted us to know that he was watching. After that we walked around the park and stopped in some big old trees to take photographs of the hanging vines, the names carved in, the old string with popped balloons. A couple of kids rode past, watching us silently. Probably Ramal's friends. Spies. Sending them out for information on these strange outsiders.

We kept walking, stopping now and then to take photos of mushrooms, or a swing in someone's exposed back yard. It looked more jungle than house. None of the houses bordering the river have back fences, some just huge flowering trees, like flowers could keep out robbers. These people probably let Ramal wander into their homes, watch TV, go through their fridge. Watching out for him, they think, but it's really the other way round.
We found a pile of sticks like a kid's campfire. Probably Ramal, he eats where he likes.

I had mud in my shoes, my work shoes, and I squelched when I walked. There were mosquito bites up and down my arms from venturing into those trees. The trees that grew like the inside of the Alien spaceship looks, all twisted muscle and womblike.
We eventually made it to the weir, where we took photos of the crags and trees growing in the huge river, middle of nowhere trees. Dirty looking foam gathering in the pools at the outer sides. Four men were standing on the gushing weir, fishing. The overspill looked strong enough to push you over but they just stood, casting, not catching anything.
Tanned and leather-brown from all their time in the sun, we laughed at the thought of how incredibly pale we were. An obvious sign, along with our puff and sweating that we never went out for walks. Could they tell? We took photos of them with their backs turned and walked on.

We sat in a perfect gazebo, changing film and stared for a few minutes. Found a playground where Nick took shots of me. Walking across a chain bridge I was surprised how much it hurt my feet, surprised how the fireman's pole rubbed my hands and the slide looked hopelessly small, the entire playground breakneck. Was it like that when I was small, did it hurt?

Crossing the weir had brought us to the rich suburb, and it was unsettling. We crossed back into the mosquito and pot-hole squalor of our own neighbourhood. Speculating about how Ramal lives in a hollowed-out cave in the weir. He has to shimmy under the waterfall to get inside. Every kid that passed was a minion of Ramal. All these kids have bikes. More names carved in a tree, handprints in cement. Ramal's Park.

The unfenced houses looked so inviting, I was tempted to break in, just walk around in the gloom. Overcast day, the whole world is grey, but somehow I'm still sunburnt.
Girls walking the track in front of us, would they freak out if we walked up close behind them? Not talking, staring at the back of their heads, maybe making a low-pitched breathing sound like in Doom.
Ramal would find out.

More photos of mushrooms, remind me of my friend who ate magic ones. Where can I get some?
Ramal is a modern day Peter Pan, Robin Hood. Maybe he's a ghost, maybe he died in this park and now he's here to protect all the other kids. Maybe his mother left him in this park when he was a baby, and it's all he knows. Wonder if he patrols at night. He probably skateboards while the other kids ride bikes. He's probably ninth grade, or at least would be if he went to school. Old enough so the other kids look up to him. The only thing I know for sure, if you go down to the park...Ramal's watching.

So there it is, hope you enjoyed it.
On another note, I've had this massive craving all day for cakes, pastries, pancakes, custard, DESSERT.
So I went to Foodworks and went a little mental with my grocery money, and now instead of eating any real meals this week I will be living on a solid diet of pancakes and cream. Here's my first attempt at making an awesome dessert...chocolate poundcake (the best kind of cake) with custard and blackberries, microwave for two minutes, enjoy.

My good deeds for the week

This week I donated to Mission Australia and am looking forward to the Walk Against Warming this Saturday 15th November. For anyone interested, the Brisbane walk will be starting out at 12.30pm in Queens Park (behind the Casino) and heading to the Roma St Parklands Ampitheatre. Bring an umbrella if you have one, as it will be celebrating Australia finally being under the "Kyoto umbrella". If you can't make it you can also donate online, or buy a shirt, if you're feeling so inclined.

Mission Australia is a non-denominational Christian organisation, their statement reads 'Our vision is to see a fairer Australia by enabling people in need to find pathways to a better life'. There's a bit of Jesus talk in there, but their main focus is on helping homeless, broken families, children in need.
I'm pretty much a sucker for donating to anything I approve of that flows through my postbox, and Mission Australia was it this week.

Walk Against Warming has some sweet links on their website for reducing your environmental impact - which is great, because I haven't been the most friendly with it myself. I'll repost here for anyone not interested in the WAW website.

• Take Action - WWF Australia
• Queensland Conservation Council - check out the 'Current Campaigns' section
  
• Nature Conservation Council of NSW
  
• and one last one, a guide from the Department of Environment, Water, Heritage and the Arts

I'm also saving up for some big donations to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and the Breast Cancer Institute of Australia. Boobies are important, people!

Also a big thumbs up to any dudes participating in Movember this month to raise awareness for men's health issues. If you are participating and would like a sponsor, leave a comment for me with your registration number and your link and I'll donate. And I'm going to want pictures too - let's see some handlebars, porn stars, hitlers, curly French waiters and my least favourite - the flavour saver.

So come on, give it up, and remember, anything over $2 is tax deductible (keep your receipt).

Chick Porn

I have recently kind of fallen in love with blogger Violet Blue @ tinynibbles.com
She is a sex blogger, podcaster, vlogger, author, lecturer, all-round badass. I've been going through her podcasts like it's going out of style - she has an EXCELLENT voice. Her podcasts range from informational sex stuff - I just listened to a somewhat scientific one about the G-Spot - to her reading erotica excerpts. Can't wait to have some more money so I can actually afford to buy some of her books/audiobooks.

I haven't really ever gotten into porn or erotica, always being on a networked/family computer and whatnot. When I was younger I got a virus on my computer and it was, uh, duh, embarassing.
So now I'm sort of edging back into it - I still think that visual porn is not for me, but that could be because I don't know what to look for - or am confused as to what I should be looking for. Most mainstream porn I see is so manufactured and boring - with overtones of the female in pain - "Oh fuck me harder, yeah you like that bitch". Then on the other end, the only other porn I ever see is marketed to fetishists, of which I am not - or at least I don't know if I am.

Here's an excerpt from a book I just finished reading, The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. It resonated enough with me and how I feel about sexuality, that I had to mark it out.

"The books and films they see survey from the young boy's point of view his first touch of a girl's thighs, his first glimpse of her breasts. The girls sit listening, absorbing, their familiar breasts estranged as if they were not part of their bodies, their thighs crossed self-consciously, learning how to leave their bodies and watch them from the outside. Since their bodies are seen from the point of view of strangeness and desire, it is no wonder that would should be familiar, felt to be whole, becomes estranged and divided into parts. What little girls learn is not the desire for the other, but the desire to be desired. Girls learn to watch their sex along with the boys; that takes up the space that should be devoted to finding out about what they are wanting, and reading and writing about it, seeking and getting it. Sex is held hostage by beauty and its ransom terms are engraved in girls' minds early and deeply with instruments more beautiful than those which advertisers or pornographers know how to use: literature, poetry, painting and film."

And here's excerpt from another book I'm reading, Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy. It's a pretty accurate reason as to why I find most porn boring.

"Sex workers are workers. They are having sex, just as strippers are stripping and centerfolds are posing, because they are paid to, not because they are in the mood to.... For the rest of us who are lucky or industrious enough to make a living doing other things, sex is supposed to be something we do for pleasure or an expression of love. The best erotic role models, then, would seem to be the women who get the most pleasure out of sex, not the women who make the most money for it."

Sorry for all the excerpts in this post, but those are two I wanted to share and promote a little thought/awareness to this. People masturbate, people have fantasies, people have sex, it's all cool.
To end on a happy note, here's some literotica!