November 19, 2008

Living with the boyfriend

I may be going a little too TMI in this post, but I've decided to list the pros and cons of living with my boyfriend. I've been thinking a lot about dynamics of living in a share house, so I'll be exploring that in a few more posts to follow. Here though, I guess I'm looking at my relationship and why it works, or sometimes explodes into shit - and why I keep working at it. Maybe someone out there will read this and reconsider moving in with their significant other, or be totally amped up to! I'm going to start with the cons so I can end on a happy note.

- Due to the set up of our work schedules, we go between either hardly seeing each other all week, or spending TOO much time together and never having a moment alone.
- It's easy to fall into the routine of doing absolutely everything together and never seeing any friends.
- Sharing a room. Ours is small enough already without having to fit the belongings of two compulsive hoarders. Add to this that he's messy and I'm neat, I often find myself cleaning up the room by throwing everything in a pile in "his corner".
- I've ended up doing all the cooking and cleaning and feel like a housewife. This is my fault - I love cooking so I do it all the time, but the cleaning issue is just annoying. I read a comment on a forum today that I think sums it up perfectly, and can probably be attributed to any housemate situation ever.
'I think it has to do with what I've seen called "housework chicken." Let's say you live with a guy like this, and there are everyday maintenance chores that need to be done. He doesn't really care if these things get done (in part because he knows someone else will do them eventually), but the nature of the chores means someone has to do them. Sooooo "the girl" ends up doing them, and she gets cast into the role of the mother/nag for caring about housework, while he's the cool guy who doesn't "overreact" and also doesn't have to do the housework, and he can just say she should lighten up. Otherwise, they just live in filth until the "housework chicken" ends.'
It doesn't help that I'm a clean freak, and on the rare occasions that he does clean, it'll be a half-assed job that I'll end up secretly redoing anyway. I guess, if you want something done properly, do it yourself.
- Can't escape. I don't have anywhere to run to if I want to get away. My parents don't live near me. I don't really want to stay at a friend's house. This is my house.
- Forget about dates. We see each other all the time and end up ignoring each other sitting in the same room. Dates are a thing of the past. Or the way we end a fight.
- Downloads. Dude, the more time you spend on your laptop ignoring me, the more time I'm gonna spend on mine ignoring you. Then hey presto, we're over the download limit and we have dial-up speed internet. I blame you.
- His clothes. How the fuck can you exist on one pair of pants? It's seriously a fucking talent.

- Always got a friend. Always around to share the banal moments, to talk shit, to listen to me whine, to watch TV with, go to the city, play with our rats, or just to lie in bed all day Sunday.
- I don't have to spend rent on a house I'm only living in half the week because I'm spending the other half at his house. No packing bags of work clothes and lunch to go stay the night. No travelling for an hour on public transport to see each other.
- Sharing the costs. Damn you low income. Damn you rental market. Damn you economy.
- Falling asleep together. I just sleep better when he's around (nyawwww).
- Your DVD collection. I will never bother going to the video store again.
- Someone to look after me when I'm throwing-up-drunk, and buy me powerades the morning after.
- Having a calm, cynical, pessimistic voice in a world of optimists who make me sick.
- Someone to push me to keep doing the stuff I want to be doing (writing, art).
- Staying away from my friends. It's cool. Most of them think he doesn't exist.
- I just like having him around.

Ahem...I mean...'sif dude I don't care about NO ONE AND NO THING.
Thank you and goodnight.

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