February 10, 2009

Commuter Idiocy #1

This will be a recurring theme, because the list of stupid things that my fellow public transportsmen are able to do to annoy me is endless, bottomless, the magnitude of the list is amazing.

So today...I'm looking at you. Yes, you, old man. Are you a maths teacher? Because you dress like one. That's not what I find stupid. I mean, I do. I can get over that.
But I do want you to know that standing curbside staring angrily up the road will not make the bus come any faster.

Hey you, lady with excessive coinage. Is it really necessary for you to run to the front of the line when the bus pulls up, so you can get on first and make the bus driver count your coins just so you can get a seat before anyone else? Some of us have Go-Cards.

Hey you, private school girl. I don't know if you've noticed the signs on every window, but they say that you paid half-fare compared to me. And I know you didn't pay it, your parents did. So stand the fuck up and give me a seat.

Hey you, entitlement-crazy old woman in the aisle seat. How about you sit down in the window seat so that when the bus fills up and I ask to sit there, you don't have to sigh and sneer at me like I'm trash as you move your knees just enough for me to squeeze my ass through right in your face to sit there. Perhaps you could have just moved over, or, I don't know, sat there in the first place.

Hey you, guy with techno playing in your earphones loud enough we can all hear it...You're not fooling anyone. Did you know that you can now, in this fine year 2009, purchase earphones that do not broadcast your "music" to the entire bus. They are available from JB Hi-Fi for $12.95, and they go in your ears which also helps to entirely keep out the sound of schoolkids squawking. You can thank me later.

That'll be it for today. Don't even get me started on train travel. I dread days when I have to take the train. If I wanted to be surrounded by scum, I'd go live in a pond.

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