Dear World

I would just like to let you know that I have the greatest boyfriend in the entire world, and all your lame boyfriends had better step up their game.
He just rang to let me know he'll be over soon...with chocolate.
Last night when I had cramps that were threatening to tear me in half, he massaged my stomach for an hour, and when that calmed me down, he scratched my head till I fell asleep in his lap.
This morning when I was trying to get up for work, he started scratching my head in his sleep and wouldn't let go of me.
Never underestimate the power of a good head-scratch. It can set all your troubles right.
Sometimes he yells in his sleep, and he ALWAYS has an angry face on when he's dreaming. It's adorable.
He always brings the awesome with new DVD's to watch because he can't stop buying them. Now I'm hooked on Star Trek.
He eats entire tubs of ice cream in one go and doesn't get fat. Instead he gets muscles. This is probably the most unfair thing I have ever heard of.
When I asked him to find a cute hat for me on ebay, he found me this, which I really do think would suit me:


He won't let me take photos of him but whenever I sneak one in, he looks so goddamn handsome I wish I could take millions more.
I don't mind that I spend my entire days just thinking about how I get to fall asleep with him later. Yes, sometimes I count the hours.
The best thing about my boyfriend is that he always sleeps on the side closest to the door, so when intruders or ghosts come in, he's first to die.

I haven't blogged lately because I've been so sick all I can do is sleep, throw up, writhe in pain or blow my nose and I pretty much don't want to do anything more complex than play Peggle. Boing. Boing. Boing. Boing. Ultra Extreme Fever!
But I'm better now, and I've got some fucking things to say. When I think of them. Be back later with actual content.