I really shouldn't blog when I'm lonely...but sometimes I just want out of this, right now, more than anything.
I wish I wasn't so quick to get frustrated, angry, upset, raging.
I wish I could learn not to put myself through the shit that I do.
I wish I could keep friends and learn to stop sabotaging that by backing out to be by myself for another night.
I wish I had enough money that I could stop backing out for monetary reasons!
I wish I didn't get stupid ideas in my head - therefore bypassing that moment where I come to understand they're completely fucking ridiculous. Way to make a fool of yourself Tash.
I wish that when I let down my defenses, I'd stop getting burned.
I wish Mike Patton were here right now.
And that he had some salt and vinegar chips, a bottle of vodka and some large speakers.
Actually, I kinda wish I was in a club, dancing, with my eyes closed, and millions of people around me, and it's so loud my ears are ringing but at least I don't feel abandoned.