January 20, 2009


My boyfriend keeps waking me up in the dark morning to tell me that he dreamt I cheated on him again. It's happened about 7 times now and I feel bad for him. When I was with my last boyfriend, I used to dream at least once a week that he would cheat on me. And even though I knew he never had or would, they upset me more than is rational. I guess it didn't help that when I told him, he only laughed at me.
I just googled dream interpretations and the best I could find was this:
dreaming about catching your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse with another partner probably indicates a deep seated anxiety on your part, either worry about your appearance, doubts about your attractiveness, or just generalized anxiety about the future.
After a recent spate of break-ups of people I know, I've thought about my nightmare scenario that stems from my total insecurity in relationships. Yep, I said it.
It goes like this: while together, you develop this incurable insecurity regarding a girl he knows. He calls her his best friend, they hang out a lot, they have a "past" that he hints at, he talks about how great she is, offset by the fact that he never tells you how great you are. You realise she's never around when you are. You try and get over it and feel guilty the whole time.
Eventually you break up, for unrelated reasons.
A couple days later, they're together, confirming all your deepest darkest fears.
I heard someone say once, "it's not when he's talking about someone else that you should worry. It's when he stops."
THIS is my nightmare scenario. It has happened to me once, but all the recent breakups made me think of it again and how it's a horrible feeling that you were right in your insecurities.

Having said that, thinking of all the heart-breaking ways relationships can end, or go wrong, or hurt or not even begin...I'm more than thankful for what I have. It's not perfect, nothing ever is. But I've never laughed so hard, and I've never learnt so much. At the same time as having someone there for me, I've never felt so independent within a relationship. I hope we keep changing and movin' and shakin' and surprising and smiling with each other. And I hope he stops dreaming about me cheating on him, cause it upsets me too.


  1. The dreams part of this post has hit home with me. I (and significant other) have both been in this situation.

  2. It's so upsetting isn't it...and no matter how secure you think you are in the relationship, they keep happening!
    I realised it was over with my ex-boyfriend when I stopped dreaming about him cheating on me, and starting dreaming about cheating on him!


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