Zombietronics

Going elsewhere

2009-05-01T10:30:00.004+10:00

It seems that my last few posts, and other posts before, have upset, hurt or publicly shamed some people I know.
I'm not going to lie about anything, so I'm not going to stop writing about the bullshit that happens and how I feel about it.
I will apologise to people who have been hurt by things I've written here, but I won't lie about, deny, gloss over or sublimate things that have stayed with me for a reason. I don't take things lightly. I get offended, and I'm not going to apologise for that and act like things never happened.
The reactions I've received from some of the things I've said or written have been pretty upsetting to me as well and I'm quite sure I've lost a few friends. But I'm tired of excusing people for the fucked up things they say and try to defend.
So I'm not going to continue writing here.
I will continue writing at another blog, so if you're actually interested in continuing to follow me, shoot me an email, a tweet, leave a comment with your email, whatever and I'll let you know the address.
If you only come here with the intent to prove me wrong on any count, fuck off.

You ugly 2

2009-04-29T10:24:00.002+10:00

Carrying on from yesterday's post about Teh Ugly, I found this awesome post from over at Shakesville called The This Is My Flaw Project. It's well worth the read, and Shakesville is more than worth a bookmark. Here's an excerpt:

Being beautiful on the inside doesn't change the fact that it's still a
radical act to look different and be happy in this culture. If you're obviously,
undisguisably Less Than Perfect, you're not only meant to be unhappy, but deeply
ashamed of yourself, projecting at all times an apologetic nature, indicative of
your everlasting remorse for having wrought your monstrous self upon the world.
You are certainly not meant to be bold, or assertive, or confident—and should
you manage to overcome the constant drumbeat of messages that you are ugly and
unsexy and have earned equally society's disdain and your own self-hatred,
should you forget your place and walk into the world one day with your head held
high, you are to be reminded by the unsolicited comments and contemptuous looks
of perfect strangers that you are not supposed to have self-esteem; you don't
deserve it. Being publicly Less Than Perfect and happy is hard; being publicly,
shamelessly, unshakably Less Than Perfect and happy is an act of both will and
bravery. That is the world in which we live. And being beautiful on the inside
doesn't fucking change that. ... Which is why it is imperative to challenge the
criteria by which the world judges beauty, to look at the profoundly
unreasonable, totally crazymaking, and inherently condemnatory Beauty Standard
in its increasingly unachievable face and tell it to fuck off.

You ugly

2009-04-28T17:45:00.003+10:00

It seems people everywhere have been talking lately about what it is to be ugly.
Hack on TripleJ this week has been doing shows about Body and Beauty - this afternoon I got to listen to a guy talk about how much it sucks being an ugly person. Which, it seems, wasn't much of a deal for him. At one point he said "yeah, in high school I was the ugly guy and it was just accepted and we got on with it". I'm looking forward to the rest of the week's episodes. Here's a linky to the Hack page, they usually post the shows after a couple of days.
I stumbled upon this great documentary called T oo Ugly For Love, which is about Body dysmorphic disorder, which I had only heard of briefly before. It must be an absolutely terrible way to live, and I'm sure it's hard on partners and friends of people with BDD as well. Check out the doco - it's frustrating to watch, as these are people who just plain believe above all that they are ugly, but fret and worry and obsess over it.
A friend of mine wrote a fantastic post called The Definition of Ugly, where she talks about how she is not conventionally pretty, and then follows it up with a totally awesome, inspiring post called The Definition of Beautiful about how she is fucking gorgeous. Cause she is.
Then there was the finale of Australia's Biggest L oser sometime recently (I don't know, I don't watch TV, I don't have an antenna, it's great) and I was compelled to look at all the before and after photos of these people.
And ugh, if that wasn't enough to make me barf, the most-viewed galleries on my regular news sites were galleries of the Miss Universe Australia and Cleo Bachelor of the Year competitions, cause we all sure do love rewarding people for being pretty.
With all this beauty-talk floating around I turned where I always turn in these times when I want to think about something: to Wikipedia. And boy does the article have some truthful and funny quotes. Let's see what we've got here shall we?

"Despite the existence of universally agreed upon signs of beauty in both genders, both heterosexual and homosexual men tend to place significantly higher value on physical appearance in a partner than women do."
This reminded me of a conversation with my coworker the other day. He asked me how many 'categories' girls make up for men - you know, hot, cute, etc. I was up for some heady generalising and I came up with about 5 - Ugly, Average, Cute, Hot, Handsome. I added that although a guy may be ugly, that's no indicator that he won't pick up if he's nice or funny or interesting or intelligent. I then asked how many categories girls have.
The answer? I'd-Fuck-You or I-Wouldn't. There's also a small in-between section called Come-Back-In-A-Few-Drinks.
How many 'ugly' guys do you see with hot chicks? Plenty.
Now think about how many 'ugly' chicks you see with hot guys.

Back to wiki - on Build being a determinant of male attractiveness:
"...Western men have a tendency to overestimate the amount of muscle considered ideal by women..."
Hehe. This just reminds me of those guys I see walking to the gym with their stupid Fitness First bags and they can't put their arms straight by their sides, and they're wearing singlets. Singlets should never be worn by men. I hope they know that.

Oh this one is lovely - Breast size as an indicator of female attractiveness. Note that the section for female attractiveness is so much larger than the one for males. Because that's how you're being judged dear.
"Large breasts have also been shown to be attractive to men in Western societies, with the explanation that larger breasts will more explicitly show the aging process, hence an "honest" indicator of fertility."
So when your boobs start to sag, it's time to trade her in for a shiny new one. I love how pretty much every single guy I've ever known, when it's come to the "breast size" conversation has said with a straight face, "I only like as much as my hand can hold", yet you never yell and whoop and loudly point out the small-chested girl walking down the street, SmallHands Joe. But I guess it's okay to make a big deal out of someone's boobs when they're huge. It's not like they would be there unless she wanted you to see them right! Huh, am I right?! Cause they're on the front of her like that, she just WANTS you to look at them! Hey, she's not looking, cop a feel!
I'm really glad I don't have big boobs. I have heard some pretty fucking depressing stories from my big-breasted sisteren. At least I can hide mine with a jumper.

Body mass & body structure: "...it should be noted that, in the United States, women overestimate men's preferences for thinness in a mate"
Wouldn't you say this is because it is constantly being shoved down our throats that we HAVE to be thin to be beautiful? What the fuck else are you supposed to think when that's what you are told your entire life? I'd like to let it be known that it only occurred to me about two months ago that my stomach was not fat because it sticks out a little in line with my hips. Because that's where my organs are! I'd just never ever seen a photo of a celebrity with the same stomach as me. I'd also like to let it be known that my legs are short and round and super muscular. So are a lot of other girls' I know. One time, someone I considered a friend pointed to one of my girl-friends with the same legs as me and said "Man every time I see her all I can hear in my head is "THUNDER". Yeah I get it. Thunder thighs. Thank you. I'm super confident now. I'm just glad she didn't hear.

Ooh...the article also brings youthfulness and fecundity into it, confirming everyone's fears that you get ugly and useless as you get older. Since you're constantly getting older, wouldn't you just be getting uglier minute by minute?
"...a preference of neotenic and youthful-appearing features. Full lips, clear, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone are all viewed as attractive in women."
Then it also goes into some stuff about female attractiveness based on hair, including body hair, and reaffirms all that crap we've been through before in here about dudes not liking your body hair you filthy gorilla-she-wolf. So we're bringing it all back to the "paedomorphic characteristics" desired in women by males, which unless you need me to spell that out for you, is disturbing. I know a lot of guys who really do prefer girls who look very young. Wikipedia says here: "As men age, they also desire a larger age gap from their mates".

Veering off a little on the whole body hair thing, considering it seems to be a huge trend in the past couple of years, if it hasn't been happening since time immemorial, that dudes don't like your pubes, can I just say this... I hate when the discussion of "to shave or not to shave" comes up and women pull out the defense "I'm a full grown woman, I don't want to look like a pre-pubescent girl down there". I'm going to posit that shaving is not a matter of me wanting to look like a pre-pubescent girl. I'm also really hoping that the people I have slept with who prefer shaved pubes are also not into the "pre-pubescent" look for the sole reason that, "hey dude, heh, it looks like I'm sleeping with a 12 year old. Hawt."
It's for comfort. I don't count the existence of hair on my snatch as the miraculous proof that I Am A Lady. You can continue to not shave. But don't call me any less of a woman cause I do.

Anyway, all this thinking about vagina has led me on the obvious path to thinking about James Franco, so I'll leave you all with some happy thoughts.

Dear James Franco:
I had a dream about you this morning and it was very sexual, and I'm hoping that you think that's okay and if you do, do you maybe feel the same way, and if you do, would you like to get together for coffee sometime?
Love Tash

New Tattoo

2009-04-27T20:54:00.003+10:00

Hey y'all, just a quick update to show off my new tattoo that was done today.
I got to Wild at Heart on Charlotte St in the city and Victoria is the girl who does all my tatts. She is awesome and takes her time to do it right. I had her draw up this tattoo for me in February and we finally got everything sorted out right in time for Rudd bucks!
The whole outline is finished and the black shading has been done, but I went into shock when she was just starting the green, after 3 hours of tattoo-age, and started crying involuntarily and hyperventilating. I don't remember that part much but I guess I must have been pretty bad cause she decided to stop for the day and made my boyfriend go buy me lunch. I had no idea you can go into shock but apparently it's pretty common for large tattoos. Uncool!
Anyway it's only half done as it still needs to be entirely shaded - it will be green and purple in the end. Joker colours!
So here's some pics. Enjoy!

Shut up

2009-04-26T16:33:00.000+10:00

Dears dudes in my life:

Just by pointing out that *one* woman you can think of has a nice high-profile corporate job does not mean *all* women have been treated equally in the workforce.
Just when you think we live in a country that is not completely backwards, girls my age are being charged for procuring abortions. Goodbye choice. I will miss you.
Just because you don't notice sexism doesn't mean I don't feel it and it's not there because I assure you IT IS.

Just because you say you are not, and never have been sexist does not mean you can profess that sexism no longer exists and therefore feminism is useless.
You are only showing your privilege over me and all women by discounting my experience as a female.
Kthxbye.

Anniversary Speech

2009-04-23T23:09:00.004+10:00

Here it is in all it's cheesy sappy glory, because I want to share with you how sap-filled and weepy I am going to make every single person in the goddamn room on the night of my parent's 25th anniversary party. In case you can't tell from the speech, my parents are the most sickeningly in love people in the entire world.
Tell me what you think, because I would appreciate some feedback. Yes, I did purposely make the jokes as corny and groan-inducing as possible....
------------------------------------------------------

Johnny Cash & June Carter

Napoleon & Josephine

Cleopatra & Mark Antony

Wesley & Buttercup

Romeo & Juliet

Anya & Ron

When I think of the great lovers of history, Anya and Ron are right at the top. They are sweet to each other, they are kind to each other. They are constantly thinking of each other, always on each others' minds. They are best friends before they are husband and wife. They are equals, and I admire that most. Neither of them “wear the pants”. They share the pants, if you know what I mean. That's a big pair of pants!

Not only are they a beautiful couple, but they are also partners in crime, I mean, business. They spend every single day working together in a very small office and they haven't killed each other. They haven't even maimed each other a little bit! They are a great example of two people who can listen, understand, co-operate and work with each other to achieve their shared goal. We may be in the middle of a global economic crisis, but there has been no recession in their love and respect for one another.

Most of all, I would like to thank you, Mum and Dad, for showing me and Nick and Jay and Mitch, what two people who love and respect each other looks like, and what true love should be. Two people who care for each other deeply, who don't give up on each other, who share ideas and respect differences, who grow together and laugh together, who are nothing but thankful for the others' existence, who want nothing more than to be together, and who just won't keep your hands off each other.

Here's to two people who truly love each other. To Anya and Ron.

Fave Valley Things

2009-04-19T21:05:00.003+10:00

Since I got a few people all excited about their favourite things to eat in the city I thought we could branch out to where I spend my days - The Valley! I work on Robertson St, so it's prime position for noms. I rarely go down to the mall cause it's dirty and I hate it, but there's this awesome little precinct up the top of the street where there's all the best eateries. Then there's James St on the other side of me, but since I'm not a coffee fiend, I rarely venture down there, and New Farm is just too far to walk in the summer, but now it's almost winter I could start to head down there for lunch. Here's what I love to eat!

'Damned' pizza from Hell Pizza - it has avocado, camembert, cashews, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and pineapples. Holy. Moly.
Special Fried Rice from Wok Me - if you go there enough like me, you get a club card and they always give me vouchers for free bags of prawn crackers, so I only ever pay for prawn crackers every second time I go.
Mustard and Pickle Burger from Grill'd - I love pickles. My love for pickles will never die. In fact, I'm gonna go eat pickles right after I post this. Then I'm going to squirt mustard from the bottle straight into my mouth, cause that's how I roll baby.
Cheap lunches at RG - I like to go for the carbonara, cause I'm running an experiment to find the best carbonara in the world, then kill the chef, like in Once Upon a Time in Mexico. The carbonara at RG comes pretty close.
Chai latte at Coffee Club - Like I said, not much of a coffee drinker but I freaking love chai lattes.
Seriously cheap lunches and free soft drinks from the Cafe - I don't know what it's called but it's at the top of Robertson St, on Brunswick, and it's just a little dodgy cafe where they sell hot chips with awesome gravy, and great burgers. The other day I bought a burger and the guy said I could have a free soft drink. That is service.
Burritos and sangria from Montezumas - Who doesn't love Mexican? I go there specifically for the sangria, and the beautiful ladyboy behind the counter with the bee-hive hairdo. God...she is so beautiful. He is so beautiful. I don't know.
Blueberry muffins from 7-11 - They're light and delicious and fluffy and they're probably a million years old but I don't care.
Chicken avocado sandwiches from the train station cafe - they are cheap and nommy, and the lady behind the counter seems to know what you want before you even say it.

So what's your favourite stuff to eat in the Valley?

Fave City Things

2009-04-19T17:58:00.003+10:00

I just got back from a day spent wandering around the city with my Rudd-bucks to burn. I got my new tattoo quoted up and made an appointment first, then walked round and round and round looking for American McGee's Alice in Wonderland but alas, it was not found. So instead I bought a bunch of books from Archives, the Gonzo DVD (about Hunter S Thompson) from JB Hifi, some earphones, some cute shoes from Big W and some emo-socks from Jay-Jays. I love my emo-socks.

Whilst we were traversing the streets we came upon this giant little girl...it was pretty terrifying.
There was a large crowd of people standing around all going "what the fuck" and I was pretty sure that at any moment laser beams would shine from her eyes, de-materializing all those in a short radius of her, so I took a few photos and skedaddled.

Anyway, I'm the kind of person who goes to restaurants and always gets the same thing. When I find something awesome that I love, I think why bother getting anything else if I already love this?
So what's your favourite meals/snacks/drinks to get in the city? Here's a few of mine:

Curry Chicken from Suncrane in the Myer Foodcourt. It's $5.90 and it'll fill you up - fried chicken covered in curry sauce with rice and it's the best thing I've ever tasted.
Carbonara Pasta or Chilli Chicken Pasta from O'Malleys. I think they're about $15 for these huge bowls of spiral pasta with awesomesauce. The carbonara has more bacon than you can poke a stick at.
Free party pies, mini sausage rolls and fried chicken at Union Jacks at happy hour! 5.30 to 7.30 they bring around these platters and I mean come on...everyone loves free food, especially when downing a tasty half price beverage. It helps if you can block out the sound of "dem apple bottom jeans, boots wit da furrrr".
Original Glazed Krispy Kremes. They seriously are the best, if you want to spend the equivalent of a bus ticket on one donut.
Anything from EasyWay Tea - I'm still searching for my favourite drink from there, but I like that they're refreshing. I'm not much of a coffee person, or at least, when I'm walking around the city I don't like anything milky or hot.

What's your favourite city treats?
Also, does anyone have a copy of American McGee's Alice they want to sell to me?

Bitterblog

2009-04-18T19:12:00.000+10:00

I'm a little confused and not sure how to feel about something, so I'd like some input. I would like to know why it's an accepted norm in society that dudes go to strip clubs. Perhaps I should clarify - I know guys want to look at naked chicks. I can sort of understand that single guys would want to go and spend money to sexually objectify women. If you're single, go the fuck ahead. I have no problem with strippers, in fact power to them, cause they're taking your money. You're still objectifying them, but they're the ones gaining in the end.
What I don't see is how guys in relationships would think it's okay to go to strip clubs. I could be just an extremely jealous and possessive person* but...if you've got me at home, and I'm naked, and I'm free and you actually get to touch me...what the FUCK are you doing in a strip club? Please, someone enlighten me?
I don't feel that this applies to burlesque shows though. I would gladly go to a burlesque show any day of the week, it's art, it's a performance. I guess that what I hate is the mindset of guys going to a strip club (or a burlesque show) - you're not going to appreciate someone as a person, you're going to stare at boobs and revel in your caveman ideal.

How about you take all the time you spend appreciating strippers and those hours you spend watching porn and invest it in appreciating MY female form. It's called FOREPLAY GODDAMIT.
I'm allowed to watch hours of porn cause I have more than one 'go' in me.

And in case you're one of those people who get all of your sexual knowledge from porn, watch this, then try again. And again. And again. Practice makes perfect.

The French call orgasms le petit mort - the little death. Each orgasm brings your soul a little closer to Hades! So please...kill me.

I hope you enjoyed this blog, brought to you by my sexual frustration. Thanks for reading Mum!

The Tools

2009-04-17T11:09:00.005+10:00

When we were little, my older brother and I both had severe asthma, sort of a shared sickness for us. For some reason we were also constantly severely hurting ourselves, add that to the asthma and we spent many many days, nights, weeks, weekends sitting inside our cosy house making cars out of recycled cereal boxes and toilet paper rolls. For some reason I remember it was always raining. I guess this didn't help our asthma too much.

We would have attacks pretty frequently, the way I remember it, and Mum would bring out The Tools.

We had The Inhaler - everyone has an inhaler. But because we were little and it tasted so bad, we had to have the Puffer. I remember it would sit there on the shelf ominously, and we had to be taught to assemble it. We had to wait our turn to be old enough to use the Inhaler on its own.

Sometimes things would get bad enough to use The Mask and you would sit there for ten minutes sounding like Darth Vader.
But you knew it was serious when mum would break out The Machine. You can't sleep for coughing, all the other tools had failed you, now it's time for The Machine. The Machine lurked in the corner doing whatever it is Machines do, darkly, loudly, humidifying.
Every night before bed she'd spread Vicks or Rawleighs all over our chests, then turn on The Machine and you would drift off to the humming emanating from the corner, trying to breathe.

I'm glad it's not so hard to breathe properly these days. The Tools still terrify me.

Dear World

2009-04-15T21:49:00.003+10:00

I would just like to let you know that I have the greatest boyfriend in the entire world, and all your lame boyfriends had better step up their game.
He just rang to let me know he'll be over soon...with chocolate.
Last night when I had cramps that were threatening to tear me in half, he massaged my stomach for an hour, and when that calmed me down, he scratched my head till I fell asleep in his lap.
This morning when I was trying to get up for work, he started scratching my head in his sleep and wouldn't let go of me.
Never underestimate the power of a good head-scratch. It can set all your troubles right.
Sometimes he yells in his sleep, and he ALWAYS has an angry face on when he's dreaming. It's adorable.
He always brings the awesome with new DVD's to watch because he can't stop buying them. Now I'm hooked on Star Trek.
He eats entire tubs of ice cream in one go and doesn't get fat. Instead he gets muscles. This is probably the most unfair thing I have ever heard of.
When I asked him to find a cute hat for me on ebay, he found me this, which I really do think would suit me:

He won't let me take photos of him but whenever I sneak one in, he looks so goddamn handsome I wish I could take millions more.
I don't mind that I spend my entire days just thinking about how I get to fall asleep with him later. Yes, sometimes I count the hours.
The best thing about my boyfriend is that he always sleeps on the side closest to the door, so when intruders or ghosts come in, he's first to die.

I haven't blogged lately because I've been so sick all I can do is sleep, throw up, writhe in pain or blow my nose and I pretty much don't want to do anything more complex than play Peggle. Boing. Boing. Boing. Boing. Ultra Extreme Fever!
But I'm better now, and I've got some fucking things to say. When I think of them. Be back later with actual content.

My phobia

2009-04-07T10:40:00.003+10:00

I think it all started when I was little. You know you start to read those cool picture books about space, and about the earth and the earth's core. You find out about earthquakes and tornadoes and natural disasters and how the earth is constantly moving. Moving around the sun, which is so much bigger than we can imagine, and that there are bigger suns out there, giant burning balls of gas, just burning in space. And how the stars we see today have actually already burned out because they're so far away we're seeing them in the past or some shit, I don't fucking know.
And I realised how incredibly small and insignificant I was in comparison to this entire universe of things constantly shifting and changing and breaking up and belching forth fire.
Ever since that moment, and most frequently when I'm lying in bed in the massive dark, I experience pretty terrifying moments that are a mixture of agoraphobia and claustrophobia. I feel like the weight of this entire universe full of matter is crushing my insignificance out of existence, making me smaller and smaller into a tiny dot that will not even implode but just simply cease to be. I have to take deep breaths, spread my arms really wide around me and think about something else.
When my eyes are closed, I start out seeing most frequently the letter A and it starts out normal-sized, but the more I stare at it the larger it becomes until it hurts my brain to think about how gigantic it has become, and how it's larger than me. It's pushing through the space in my head and my eyes. I have to stop and open my eyes and stare at something different for a while.
I'm terrified of space. And I'm terrified of no space. I think about these things more often than I let on. If you ever see me and I look worried, this is probably why.

And that's my piece.

Hey Jerks

2009-04-06T18:35:00.004+10:00

Newsflash Jerks:
Girls have body hair. All humans have body hair. On some girls, such as myself, body hair tends to be extremely dark. I was born with a head of black hair. I am hairy. I have dark hair on my upper lip.
This in no way entitles you to comment on my "moustache". How unfortunate for you that I really don't care enough about other people's opinions on the amount of body hair girls should have, that I don't wax it off and isn't it sad that for that fact, you have to stare at it. You poor, poor creature. I will run to the salon straight away to get that hair ripped out of my skin JUST FOR YOU.
Here is something that is not so much of a secret if you looked at me close enough: I shave my arms, and have since I was about 14. I remember the day I started doing it, I took my jumper off at school because winter was moving into spring, and one of my friends (a male) said "woah, your arms are hairier than mine. You're a gorilla". So I started shaving my arms and I sort of never stopped. I wish I could stop, because I like to think that I don't care anymore, but I know that I do, and I know that I would always be hiding my arms, and wearing long sleeves. Because people are fucking jerks.
I can't even count the amount of times that guys (and yes, it's only EVER guys) have "joked" to me about having a moustache. Of course I'm going to find you belittling me hilarious! That's such a good one, coming from a perfect specimen of beauty such as yourself!

So dudes, please stop watching your air-brushed, waxed, oiled fake porn and take a look at how beautiful the REAL girls around you are. Because you're completely missing them. And after that take a long hard look in the mirror.

DIY

2009-04-05T17:25:00.005+10:00

I've been trolling through online DIY communities all today, cause sometimes I go through these do-it-yourself phases where I just wanna make stuff and mod stuff and create stuff. For the most part, I don't have the right tools and everything I make I end up throwing out. Also everything I see instructions for that looks AWESOME, I can't even do anyway because I'm renting and I fear for touching the walls in case I might put a speck of dust on them.
So here's what I 'created' today that took pretty much no effort, and was created just because I went through a bunch of crap in cupboard to throw it all out, and thought I should do something with this.

Ta daaa!

It is a plastic card holder that used to contain a deck of stripper-cards, which I've coated in leopard-print felt and stuck a bowling picture on the inside for extra rockabilly-ness. I'll be trialling it as my new wallet for a while, it's the perfect size for all my cards and I can just chuck in my coins and fold the paper moneyz, not that I ever have any of that. Was thinking about adding a small keyring hook to it so I can keep all important stuff there, but I don't think it'll work. I have far too many important things on my keyring that I'm not willing to part with in the interests of simplicity. Which is what this is all about.

Here are a couple of my favourite DIY sites and some awesome projects that I would love to undertake at some point.

Instructables is a pretty huge community with millions of instructions for excellent projects, like home, garden, arts, crafts, tech, science, sports, whatever. There's also an awesome offbeat section where there is all kinds of weird crap like crazy hangover cures, medieval gauntlets and a whole bunch of steampunk.
My all time favourite instructable would probably be the Steampunk Finger Stylus, for DS, phones, etc. It looks suprisingly easy to make, though that fact hasn't induced me to make it yet. One day stylus, one day.
Lifehacker is one of the Gawker media blogs, and it's all about DIY home projects, some tech, a lot of green/environment friendly stuff.
greenUPGRADER is, as you would imagine, all about going green in your home, with heaps of great recycling projects.
Then there's Craftzine which is a huge craft community, sharing every type of craft project you can imagine. I haven't visited there much, but it's good for a scroll through every now and then.
PocketMod is a site where you can drop and drag templates like calendars, graph-lines, to-do lists, blank note pages. You create your own little notepad, print it out, fold it up, and it's small enough to fit in your wallet (or card holder). I love using these things.
Here's a little writeup on how to make butter, which I'm definitely going to give a go because I go through butter like nobody's business.
Another one I want to try now that I'm living below the poverty line, 10 Recipes for Homemade Laundry Soaps.
And one that will come in extremely handy to get rid of the hangovers induced by cheap goon, considering that's what I'll be buying to drink away my money worries, Homemade Alka Seltzer!

Dear Mum and Dad...please buy me a toolkit for my birthday, kthxbye.

Added Bonus: Here's a spice rack I made a while ago...

World Autism Awareness Day

2009-04-03T10:28:00.005+10:00

...Was yesterday, sorry for missing it but I'd like to post about it anyway.

Visit the World Autism Awareness Day site here and if you don't know what autism is, well head on over to the wikipedia article for only the briefest of understandings you can get.

I've been holding off on writing anything about this because I honestly don't and probably never will understand autism, and it's kind of personal. My boyfriend has Asperger Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. I've always felt weird talking about it with him because I don't want to be singling him out, or making him feel different. But I guess the fact is, our brains work differently, and I've always been a mixture of fascinated by how he thinks and upset that we can't understand each other in the way that I think of understanding.

From wikipedia:
"...people with AS therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction and restricted, stereotyped patterns of behavior and interests. AS differs from other ASDs by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Although not mentioned in standard diagnostic criteria, physical clumsiness and atypical use of language are frequently reported."

"The lack of demonstrated empathy is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of Asperger syndrome. Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or to seek shared enjoyments or achievements with others (for example, showing others objects of interest), a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviours in areas such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture"

Have a read of the wikipedia article because I'm going to have a hard time explaining it properly without feeling like I'm listing all the things I see my boyfriend doing because really, I have no idea what he does or thinks. So I'd most likely be totally wrong. Here's a part from the article which might give you an understanding of what it's like to talk to someone with AS:

"Speech may convey a sense of incoherence; the conversational style often includes monologues about topics that bore the listener, fails to provide context for comments, or fails to suppress internal thoughts. Individuals with AS may fail to monitor whether the listener is interested or engaged in the conversation. The speaker's conclusion or point may never be made, and attempts by the listener to elaborate on the speech's content or logic, or to shift to related topics, are often unsuccessful"

My boyfriend gets obsessed with things, and it'll usually get pretty intense, and go in phases, like for a few months all he did was buy Alien figurines and we'd watch the Alien movies, then it was all Terminator. He's really into film, and I'll often be on the receiving end of a monologue about camera lenses or setting up a scene. He collects DVD's obsessively and could probably start a video store with his collection. Wiki says: "Although these special interests may change from time to time, they typically become more unusual and narrowly focused, and often dominate social interaction so much that the entire family may become immersed."

I think the hardest part is that he's not very good at comforting me when I am upset, or realising that it's his fault that I'm upset. I get so annoyed sometimes because I'm not sure whether he really can't understand why I'm upset, or if he's just being an asshole. Sometimes I think maybe there's something wrong with me, why can't I feel nothing, why do I have to feel the way I do? Sometimes I want to just sit and talk with him for hours, but he is completely, entirely focused on something else and I can't even get into his peripheral view. Sometimes when we do talk, it feels like he completely ignores every thing I say, or if I try to argue a point, he tells me he doesn't want to talk about something if I'm going to get angry. We have extremely different viewpoints to begin with, and most of the time I feel very alone, and kind of worthless. He considers himself superior to a lot of people.

I don't really know where I was planning to go with this, except to say that it is hard. I've joined forums for people who have partners with AS, because I thought maybe they could tell me how they cope, and give me more understanding. What I found was actually extremely depressing, hundreds of unhappy wives planning to leave their relationships, mostly older women who have no way of caring for themselves, so they're stuck while they plan an "escape". There are a few good communities of people whose relationships are still together and strong, but there's really no rules, no list of things you can do to be happy, so I stopped visiting the sites. And I just stopped thinking about it. He now lives back at his old house, which is just around the corner from me, and we still see each other every day, and this has all reminded me how grateful I am that I know him. He's an awesome person. And that's all I have to say about that.

Here is a video I found a few months ago by an autistic woman (tried to embed but the linky didn't work). The first few minutes she is shaking doorknobs, moaning, rattling things, etc and the second half of the video is her explaining (through a voice synth) how she is interacting with her environment, and what she is thinking. It's pretty fascinating. Anyway...happy Friday!

The Wisdom of T-Rex

2009-04-01T20:38:00.002+10:00

Wherein dinosaurs explain the concept of the Male Gaze.
(clicky to open properly)

What is the Male Gaze?

No-Hump Day

2009-04-01T14:33:00.004+10:00

I've been pretty sick lately, puking constantly and it really hurts, but now I have magnificent abs. So while I've been sick and concentrating all my will power on NOT blowing chunks, I've mostly been living on the internet, reading, twittering, more reading, playing games. I'm not at all coherent lately so here's some stuff I've read/thought/talked about with people. A MISHMASH, IF YOU WILL.

Tiger Beatdown is my new favourite blog that makes me feel so much better to read because it's fucking venomous. Read this and this post about the terrifying Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen phenomenon that is sweeping your television screens and damaging your brains. Actually, reading those articles made me truly upset, especially one which I will quote now, which is a conversation between the two bloggers about ahem "man-children":

"KELLY: YES. And suddenly I flashed-forward into my future, and I was eight months pregnant, and my feet hurt, and I was throwing up a lot, and my boyfriend was wondering why I hadn't made him a sandwich. And then I had kids, and I was still the primary income-earner - I would, in fact, be bringing home the bacon, and frying it up in a pan, because my boyfriend wouldn't cook - and after I'd finished making dinner I would come in and find that my boyfriend and my children had been eating Pixie Stix and reading comic books and they weren't hungry. I would be doing everything for him, forever, while he got to have fun. And then it was just over. I had to get out."

I've had that moment, and it was a dizzying, horrifying, brutal moment of clarity that all the drugs in the world cannot push out of my mind. I AM AFRAID OF COMMITMENT. There. I said it. I am afraid of relationships, and I am terrified of marriage. I have been reading a collection of short stories by Charlotte Perkins Gilman lately. They are all what I think I would call "subtly feminist" 1800s-society lady tales of subordination and being shut up in an attic to recover from The Hysteria and it all FREAKS ME OUT, that one day, if I just shut my eyes and let myself keep drifting on, I'll be the quiet wife in the kitchen, with my children doing things behind my back because I'm "the angry Mum" cause I don't let them do what Dad does, and one day I'll wake up and I'll go out to make their lunches for school like an automaton and I won't even realise that I am dead inside, cause I'll be, you know, dead.

Excuse my freak out. They happen sometimes.

On another note, have you ever thought about the quandary of asking someone to repeat themselves? I HATE asking someone to repeat themselves, because I know how frustrating it is to have to repeat yourself, especially after you've told a perfect joke, with perfect pitch and timing. It's just that the bar you're in is really loud, and your friend didn't quite hear you. So most of the time I just smile and nod, which sometimes turns out to be worse, because you've either hurt the person's feelings by not guffawing at their hilarity, or they'll follow themselves up with a question. "Oh so how much did you pay for them?" And then it seems like you've been indifferent to the conversation all along. But I wasn't, I swear, just drunk.

I just want to let people know about Seinfeld's Law: Chicks don't eat on dates. I know it's not true for everyone, but it's definitely true for me. I can't do it. I can barely eat lunch with friends. It's a mixture of not being comfortable pigging out in front of someone else, and being too focused on first impressions/talking to the other person/looking dainty that I can't just chow down and enjoy myself. So I'm sorry if I told you that we should go to that awesome Chinese place, and we ended up getting sausage rolls. I'm really incapable of eating in front of people.

My housemate and I are throwing a party, and we've begun to freak out and encounter all those problems you get with social circles and people you don't like within them. I hate to seem all elitist by not inviting certain people to my party, but basically, that's what it is, MY party, at MY house. What irritates me lately is the prevalence of this kind of thinking that, well, I know other people who are going to the party, so I'm kind of invited by proxy, right?
The other people I don't invite to my parties are the ones who stay the night. Wait, that's being unfair, you say. I understand that there will always be a few who will stay the night, and out of my friends, there are a certain few who know that they are more than welcome to stay the night. I have beef with the ones who are barely my acquaintance, and turn up bags in hand without even asking if it was okay for them to stay the night. They're expecting a bed from you, and the next morning, they have a shower, use your expensive shampoo and fluffy towels, expect a feed, and don't leave until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN MY HOUSE?! I would just like to extend thanks to my friends for not being like my neighbour's friends, starting loud bogan fights, smashing glasses in the pool area, or listening to trance.

This all being said, I'm actually a pretty happy camper lately. And right now I am transmitting mind-hugs to you all. Much love.

My biggest weakness

2009-03-30T17:07:00.002+10:00

Kryptonite.

Not really, I can stand a bit of Kryptonite, but I'm giving away my biggest weakness here, for free, just because I love when it happens so much. Are you ready?

"Tashy".
When people call me Tashy, I melt, I am at their whim, I will automatically do whatever they are asking me to do, I will go out and kill that giant robot, I will give you my last cookie, of course I will kneel at your feet. It really works too, so next time you see me, give it a try.

Sorry, it's only a quick one today. I'm off work sick, and going to the doctor's tomorrow cause I keep throwing up. Yesterday I thought it was a hangover, but today I'm continuing to hurl, and now I can't hear anything, and life sucks so much sometimes, I swear.

The Path

2009-03-28T18:41:00.002+10:00

It's been a couple of days since I blogged, so here I am again, in the flesh, alive. My mum's been visiting from Townsville and I've been busy for once. You know, eating fancy dinners, going shopping, staying at her fancy hotel, living the high life. This evening we're just sitting around until we head over to Bar Eleven-17 at Cannon Hill for my cousin's 21st party. It just occurred to me that I look way too sexy for a family event. I never dress up this good to go out with my friends. What is wrong with me?

I've recently been playing this awesome game called The Path. It's a twist on Little Red Riding Hood, you play as one of 6 girls and the only instruction you have in the game is to Go to Grandmother's House and Follow the Path. But if you do that, you lose. So you have to wander off the path into the woods where you come across...things.
I played it for about two hours today before I decided to find out if there was a purpose to it. Turns out there is no real way to win. Playing the game isn't about collecting things, or finding the end. It's about immersing yourself in this world, and forming theories of your own on what all the encounters mean. It's a beautiful piece of quiet-horror interactive art, the soundtrack is amazing and the design is absolutely beautiful. If you have Steam, you can get it there, otherwise check out Tale-of-Tales.com. Steam's also having a big sale on indie games at the moment so get into it. Here's a clip from SteamLog to show you what The Path is like. Enjoy.

Ada Lovelace Day

2009-03-24T18:03:00.004+10:00

Ada Lovelace Day is...

an international day of blogging to draw attention to women excelling in technology. Women's contributions often go unacknowledged, their innovations seldom mentioned, their faces rarely recognised. We want you to tell the world about these unsung heroines. Whatever she does, whether she is a sysadmin or a tech entrepreneur, a programmer or a designer, developing software or hardware, a tech journalist or a tech consultant, we want to celebrate her achievements.

I am the LEAST prepared blogger in the entire world. I had planned on emailing a woman I saw at a panel about women in gaming a while ago, and I'd even written up the draft email but for some reason I just never sent it. So instead, I'm going to be extremely lazy and have put together a mashup of my favourite blogs and a couple of articles about women in tech. If you don't click through to links, then your best bet is to just leave now. Get ready for GRATUITOUS LINKAGE!!!

I shall begin with my favourite blog of all time, Jezebel. It deals up daily news, celebrity, sex, fashion, etc all with a bit of a feminist twist. It's also got a brilliant community of hilarious wimmen.
Now some love for my favourite blogger, Violet Blue. As it says on her front page, she is an "author, sex educator, blogger, podcaster, GETV reporter, The San Francisco Chronicle's sex columnist, robotic artist, and a Forbes Web Celeb." I head over to her blog Tiny Nibbles for all the erotica I could ever want.
ShinyShiny.tv is the pinkest website I've ever seen - it's updated daily with all the newest gadgets coming out on the market - phones, cameras, notebooks, game consoles and even vibrators.
Here's two new ones that I've just found recently - Emily Chang and GameGirl.com. Emily is an award-winning web designer and my favourite part of her site is the eHub which is a constantly updated list of web applications. GameGirl is like it sounds, a blog focused on all things gaming, written by girls, definitely worth a look.
Girl Geek Dinners plans meetups of girl bloggers in pubs and restaurants to share their love of all things geeky and tech.
Here's a cool article on wikipedia about women in computing with a timeline of women who made advances in technology.
I've posted it before but I'm posting again this post by a blogger named Kate Harding about cyberbullying and stalking.

These are a little off topic but I've been lurking around sci-fi blog i09.com all day and I looked up all the best posts regarding women.
What Chicks Don't Like About Science Fiction
Could You Live In A World Without Women?
Why All Female Superheroes Look The Same
and New Doctor Who Should Be Female, Say Female Scientists

And finally, one of my favourite songs, kind of a one-hit wonder from a band called White Town.
This is from their album "Women in Technology" and the song is called Your Woman. I'm sure you've heard it on Rage before at 2am. Enjoy!

I hate bikies

2009-03-23T13:57:00.003+10:00

So it turns out that my plane was delayed on the tarmac yesterday for about 20 minutes because there was a BIKIE TURF WAR in Sydney terminal where one man was beaten to death. Honestly, this must have happened just as I was boarding the plane.

Here's a big article from smh.com.au called Behind Sydney's Bikie Bloodshed.

How the hell do these people exist? They ride bikes. This does not entitle them to own areas of land. I know it's all to do with drugs, etc but Jesus Christ, what happened to people who just share a love of motorbikes? Bikies are not cool. And while we're at it, Chopper Read is not cool. Stop thinking he is. Go read a book that ISN'T his, stop giving him money. Shut up. Stop killing people and delaying my flight.

Sydneytimes

2009-03-22T21:40:00.002+10:00

Here's a little of what my diary would look like if I had bothered to write one while I was in Sydney.

Thursday: Read Pickman's Model and listened to Dresden Dolls on the plane down to Sydney. Lovecraft rules. Arrive at airport, Dad's waiting for me, take the double decker train back to hotel on York St. Amazed at double decker train. Walk through the streets to hotel in a daze because everything is so goddamn big. Drop bags at hotel, say hi to Mum and Mitch, we all go for a walk down to Darling Harbour. Everything is just like out of Looking for Alibrandi. We catch the monorail (MONORAIL!!!) back into the city, and walk through the city to our hotel. Sensory overload from gigantic-hugeness. Go to meet my internet friend Chris. We have a few drinks at one place, then go to Oxford St and have more. His friends start showing up, we drink more. Go to some free wanky pretentious music shows, drink more. More alcohol.

Friday: Throw up on the platform at Town Hall station, almost faint. I own it now. Have a shower, eat a piece of bread and go with family to Centrepoint Tower. Sit on the ledge looking down at the ants/humans below me and wonder what would happen if the tower split in half, and we all plummeted to the ground. Went into this stupid Oztrek thing that you actually had to pay money for, and was assaulted with the stereotype that Australians are dumb, dumb, dumb. Felt significantly dumber afterwards. Walked around and around looking for a shop that I may want to purchase things from. When I find one, realise I have no money, and trudge sullenly back to the hotel. Dad and I go grocery/booze shopping. That night, I eat chilli octopus. Suprisingly awesome.

Saturday: Wake up super late, get ready and follow family out to Darling Harbour where Mum and Mitch are part of a Capoeira demonstration. It's going on for five hours. Dad and I walk around and around and around, debating what to do, until we finally decide on just drinking beer. Drink beer. Oh, also, we go to the Chinese Garden, which was really gorgeous. Koi are awesome and evil and following me. Go back to capoeira. Watch. Walk off to drink more beer. Extremely sunburnt and sweaty and disgusting, considering all I've eaten is chips. Go home and crash. Night time, family goes off to some capoeira party in Bondi which I skip out to sit by myself at the hotel chatting on MSN to friends about how much I hate Sydney. I hate Sydney.

Sunday: Wake up super late again, chuck on some clothes and catch the monorail to go see the Star Wars exhibit at the Powerhouse Museum. Awesome, except can't move because of the sea of children smaller than my knees, and the army of prams. What the hell are these kids doing here? Take a lot of photos, get really annoyed and swear off procreating for good. Catch the monorail back to my hotel, grab my bags, off to airport. Eat a Krispy Kreme, then sit for an hour reading Lovecraft waiting for my plane. Get on the plane, the guy sitting next to me orders "3 rum and cokes and a cappucino". Shit.

I've uploaded a bunch of photos that you can check out here, and shall be putting up some awesome videos of the capoeira people doing their moves, so stay tuned.

Hump Day

2009-03-18T22:52:00.004+10:00

Hey all, just going to post some things I found today that I liked. I'm a bit busy, packing to go to Sydney in the morning for 4 days - my parents and little brother are down there at the moment for a Capoeira festival and I'm joining them. There'll be plenty of pics and stories when I get back, but in the meantime you can follow me on twitter cause I'm kind of addicted to it now.
I spent a lot of time just surfing and slacking off today, and here's some things that I really loved...

This opinion article by Katrina Fox titled "Tick a box: male, female, unspecified" about how the Australian Human Rights Commission has a report on filling out legal documents for those who do not identify with a specific gender. I really love the idea. I've been thinking a lot lately about gender and androgyny and I completely admit that I don't understand it, but I guess that's why it's playing on my mind. Also, I am extremely in love with Tilda Swinton.

Those eyes, they are sucking my soul...

One I found a while ago but keeps popping up in conversation lately, a documentary about Objectum Sexuals titled Married to the Eiffel Tower.

Check out this awesome video of the Sydney Mardi Gras by Keith Loutit - it's amazing, it's actually hundreds of photographs spliced together that make everything look like stop-motion miniatures, really amazing stuff.

Mardi Gras from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Anyway, that's all for today, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!

Thx

2009-03-16T13:36:00.003+10:00

By the way...I just want to say thank you so so much to the people who ARE helping me right now, because I am extremely fucked up inside over this. Sometimes I wish I could break my leg to have an excuse to stay home every day, and I wish it would rain constantly and I could just listen to the Smiths and never do anything again....but you guys remind me there's a reason to just keep getting up every day.

Thank you.

Here's a kitten.

Fuck Monday

2009-03-16T12:46:00.003+10:00

I'm having a really fucking hard time lately. I didn't sleep last night. Looking out the window periodically to see the sky becoming lighter makes me so upset. I broke up with my boyfriend last week, he has moved out of the house, and I still feel like it was the worst idea ever. Because I still love him so fucking much and I want to be with him all the time, but he doesn't feel the same about me. I guess you can call me an insane bitch, or high maintenance, or a harpy, or the crazy girlfriend like I know all his friends do, but I'm not apologising for expecting to be treated equally. Nutri-Grain is so fucking wrong. You do NOT get out what you put in. Sometimes you get nothing at all. And I can't deal with that anymore. I know you're reading this, and it's not for you, it's just because I wanted to get this out of my head.

A lot of people I know communicate to their "friends" through trading insults. I refuse to deign someone who hides their true feelings behind insults, with a response. If you want to be my friend, treat me as you would want to be treated, and I'll respond in kind. If you want to tell me constantly how terrible of a human being I am, how I'm just a "ball and chain", then you can't exactly expect me to continue being your friend for much longer.

There's a theory that you only have enough space in your life, enough memory, enough time, for 150 people. Some people have less. I feel like everywhere I turn, everyone I've ever wanted to be around, already has their full quota of people, and I'm not allowed in.

Well...fuck you all. I'm going to Vegas.

B-I-T-N-I-S

2009-03-13T11:26:00.004+10:00

I may not be the most professional receptionist there is, but I'm kind of obsessive compulsive about portraying a professional manner towards clients. Perhaps clients feel differently towards us, as they're the ones paying us and can afford to do away with professionalism?
In my company I'm the lowliest staff member, but I'm also the first point of contact before you can get through to speaking to an engineer or manager. Because it's a given that all the engineers and managers are constantly busy, I will most likely 'lie' to you and say they are unable to take your call. If my company were a castle, I'd be the moat. If you are rude to me, you will drown in the mire.
I answer the phone as such: "XYZ Company, Zombietron speaking". Here is the part that most people never learnt. It's now your turn to say your name, what company you belong to, the general outline of what you need and who you wish to speak to. Was that so hard?
An appropriate response to "hello" is not "Bob please, now". Speaking monosyllabically is not going to get you very far. Telling me how urgent your problem is and how you need to be put through RIGHT NOW will not get you very far either. I can assess how urgent your problem is. Yelling at me because you made a mistake will not get you any assistance. Asking me if I am satisfied with my phone plan will not get you very far either.

The majority of my day is spent checking emails. I keep my Outlook open constantly, and not only do I check my own inbox, but most other staff member's as well. I'm basically a personal assistant to everyone, if that makes sense. As such, I have a few handy tips for how to compose a business email correctly.

Use capital letters. And punctuation. And proper spelling. Jesus fucking Christ.
Ensure you have an email signature. It's not rocket science. Usually, it's set up for you when you start working for a company.
Learn the difference between a Subject line and a Message field. No really. This happens more often than you think.
If someone sends you an email, generally the next step is to actually reply. I know that you received it.
Start with Hello, end with Goodbye, Thank you, Cheers, ANYTHING. It's not hard.
Keep in mind that text is not a great conveyor of emotions. So keep it bland and straight. I find that a lot of people's emails come across as extremely rude, mean, haughty and well, repulsive, when they were probably going for sarcasm. Or they could just be assholes.

These things can be incorporated into outside-work life too, to make interactions with people a little bit more polite and less straining. I guess the bottom line is, I don't want to be here as much as you, so let's make this all as painless as possible please?

Oh..I've joined Twitter. Mostly so a friend of mine and I can trade inane statements. Like about airplane food and those things on the end of your shoelaces. What is the deal? So if you wish, follow me.

Dear Gods of Fashion

2009-03-11T10:33:00.002+10:00

Please banish skinny jeans to the realm of otherness.

They do not belong in this world, and they deceptively look like normal pants when I take them off the rack to purchase. Yes, I should be admonished for not trying pants on before I buy, and I repent. I just hate getting naked behind a curtain. And taking off my shoes.

One exception: Noel Fielding may continue to wear his drainpipes.

Please make all black items of clothing not fade in the wash.

Please stop making all my shirt side-seams twist around me. My torso does not twist sideways.

Please send to me a pair of jeans that fit perfectly without requiring taking up, or a belt.

Please stop making every women's shirt with stupid puffy shoulders and sleeves. It looks so dumb.

Please make capes fashionable again. Same goes for crochet dresses.

Please stop putting sequins and jewels on every item of clothing in Valleygirl. I'm not handwashing a fucking $10 shirt.

Please stop making women's shoes so goddamn uncomfortable. Please make flat-heeled knee-high boots more available to me.

Please make women's 'standard' sizes to fit normal people again. Not pre-pubescent twelve-year-olds. They are not women yet. I am a woman. And I am far from plus-size, so please don't try to tell me that I am.

Describe me

2009-03-10T14:44:00.002+10:00

Because I love hearing about myself. Who doesn't?
Because my brother told me today:

"I miss you too Tashy...your fuzzy hair...your muffin-eating habits...your stupid dresses....the way you take insults like a sponge".

Yep. That's me exactly. Your turn!!

International Women's Day

2009-03-09T11:35:00.004+10:00

International Women's Day was yesterday. I went in a fun run at Southbank that raised money for Chicks in Pink charity. It was 5kms long winding through the city and Botanic Gardens, which I'm sure would have been a really wonderful walk if it weren't for the fact that I was nursing a hangover of epic proportions, and with every step I had to fight to hold down my stomach which wanted to leap from its resting place up through my oesophagus and out, onto the ground in front of me.

It was neither fun, nor did I run. A more apt name would be Unpleasant Stroll. For charity.

I wanted to write something more about International Women's Day but then this morning I read this article about what the Vatican thinks of women and I pretty much just lost it. And then I remembered what my boyfriend said when I told him it was International Women's Day.

"Why don't men get a day?"

Because sweety, when you live in a patriarchy, EVERY DAY is Men's Day.

Happy International Women's Day for yesterday ladies. I hope you weren't as hungover as I was.

Wondering what her head would look like on a stick

2009-03-09T10:05:00.004+10:00

The silicone chip inside her head gets switched to overload and nobody's gonna go to school today she's gonna make them stay at home. Daddy doesn't understand it, he always said she was good as gold. And he can see no reasons cause there are no reasons what reason do you need to be told?

I. really. don't. like. Mondays.

Sometimes I scare myself with the terrible things I think up inside my head. Well...that's not true. I'm not scared.
I was upset the other day to find that one of my old favourite websites - crimelibrary.com - had been changed into something WEIRD and DIFFERENT. What used to be a great website to while away the hours reading about serial killers is now something gaudy and tabloidy where the most-searched for articles on the front page are "Cheerleaders Gone Wild" and "Sordid Lesbian Affair Killer". Pah. The old articles are still there - but what has happened to murderers? They have changed with the culture where violence has become sexualised. Now, anyone can be a killer, big deal, you get angry, you get passionate, you take out a gun and shoot someone, then your lawyer gets you off on an insanity plea. Real original.

Where have the Ed Geins, Jeffrey Dahmers and Ted Bundys gone? I remember not sleeping after I first read each of their stories, just lying there trying to imagine how it was even possible for a person to continue doing the things they did, how can a brain just snap like that? I'm so fascinated by it, I've read their stories over and over again. I have books where the same crimes are thrashed out in the same words, yet I can't stop reading. They were the real walking nightmares, setting the bar high for human depravity. They truly strike fear into your heart.

I'm not frightened by cheerleaders gone wild. Come back Crime Library. Go away glitzy Crime TV.

Psycho killer...qu'est-ce que c'est......

coffee dreams

2009-03-08T20:41:00.002+10:00

The cup is warm on my hands. I cradle it and smell the burnt aroma. The taste is bitter and it reminds me of her. Always her. Soul as black as the devil and as sweet as a stolen kiss. All the kisses she stole from me...I take another sip.
One more cup of coffee for the road.
One more cup of coffee before I go to the valley below.

Can't get you out of my head.

Sexsexsexsex

2009-03-02T20:58:00.006+10:00

So...SEXPO! It was GREAT! Mum, please stop reading now. If you want.

I got all dolled up after work, went to meet my friends for some drinks beforehand and then we headed in. As you enter, sexy chicks in very few clothes and large muscled men also in very few clothes hand you a free DVD of porn and a magazine, so if you buy nothing else, at least you'll come away with something. I haven't watched/read either yet, but my friend Sharnee says it's just standard low-production-value girl-on-girl bore, so I might give it a miss. Anyone want some free porn?

Sexpo was held at the Southbank Convention Centre, so obviously it's freaking huge. To the left is a big stage and a few grandstand type seats surrounding it where they had strippers doing shows and whatnot - I didn't get much of a chance to watch, too many people packed in. To the right of the room at the far end there was a beach volleyball set up, the 'Laporium' lapdance area and also a little cordoned off room where a friend of mine played strip poker. And in the middle of all this were the STORES!
I would like to say "I saw things there I have never seen before"....but I'd be lying to you, because I've seen a lot. I didn't get to take any photos inside the event, sorry guys, but here's a photo of the stash I came away with, and me looking very happy with it.

Click to enlarge ;)

A lot of the stores had really great "showbag" deals - most for under $50. That's what I ended up purchasing - it contained that long purple vibrator to the right which is honestly the coolest thing I've ever seen...or used (it's self-penetrating), a vibrating cock ring, another cockring with a bullet and remote control, a pack of batteries, a squirt gun in the shape of a penis, a penis keyring, a cum towel and some fuzzy handcuffs - all for $50. Total bargain. The vibrator alone would usually cost something like $80 I'd say.
Also in the picture is the purple Rock Chick in the bottom left corner - I've been wanting one of these for AGES and yes, it's as good as they say. That cost me $100. You can get them on femplay.com for $116.95 - quick hit, femplay is actually quite a cheap Australian site with great (discreet) fast postage, you always get a free gift, and if you write a review for one of their toys like I did, you get a 10% discount next time you order!
The other two things I bought were that big metal pole with restraints on either side which I thought was way too cool to pass up - that was $30. And also just that blue bottle of toy cleaner (essential). So...I'm...well stocked for now.

As for the rest of the stores, there was a lot of the same thing around - lots of stores with same ol' cute costumes, LOTS of vibrators, lube everywhere. There was a huge range of prices vibrators though, everything from bargain- bin $10 ones all the way up to $300 chiq ones. I think it was Four Seasons that had a stall with just condoms, and strangely they didn't have much of a range from what I could see. Then there were the hardcore stores where you just stared open-mouthed at the giant black double-enders or the massive whips and things that you only see in your sexy sexy nightmares. Also, Pricasso was there, painting pictures with his ween.

The store that I couldn't stay away from though was called Merci Toys, and I've got a catalogue here that's so colourful and pretty and I wish you could see, but I just went to their website and it's entirely in Japanese. So if you can read Japanese or just wanna look at pretty pictures go HERE to check out their toys, my favourite of which seems to be a rip off of the fabled Hitachi Magic Wand. Now...I've never used one...but it's legendary. And Merci's rip off named the Fairy was pretty amazing. That's all I have to say about that.

Last but not least I'd like to round this post out by saying that I've become a voting member of the Australian Sex Party - Australia's newest political party. They are "for personal freedoms and sexual rights". You can have a read of their policies here, but definitely check out their whole site, it's pretty interesting. I know it's a fringe party at the moment but...I like it, hopefully it will grow to something awesome. And I got a free shirt that says I Love Sex. And seriously, who doesn't?

A simple rule

2009-03-02T15:54:00.003+10:00

I was listening to a whole bunch of old music I haven't listened to in a long time...one of the songs being I'm Not In Love by 10cc. I guess I had never really listened to the lyrics before, because to me it was always a depressing, slow song to listen to when you feel jilted. Not so!

This song is all about a guy who makes a booty call to his ex girlfriend and forgets the One Simple Rule of booty calls. When one makes a booty call, one no longer has any rights to seem Not-Desperate. People seem to forget - relationships break up for a reason.

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
Its just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Dont get me wrong, dont think youve got it made.
Im not in love, no no!
Its because ...
I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no no!
It's because ...

Pshh what a douchebag! Calm, Cool, Collected = Not You.
Yeah yeah yeah I'm sure he's lying about it all to make himself feel better.
Sounds to me like he's one big emosogynist. My love for this song is now tainted.
In other news, how hot is Damon Albarn (see 0:35!).

TGIF

2009-02-27T11:35:00.002+10:00

Dudes it is Friday and I am pumped. We are heading to Sexpo tonight and I have my thigh-highs locked and ready. I am going to be spending alllll my moneys on sex toys, and I can't think of a better way to be spending a Friday night.

Also looking forward to becoming a member of the Australian Sex Party...so I will tell you how that goes and give linkies tomorrow.

I've got a few ideas on the brain lately that I'd like some help with. So please leave a comment, email me, whatever, I like to talk to you.

Where can one acquire a miniature bicycle? I know they make those little TechDecks, do they also have little BMX's or something? Also a figurine of a fish. I want to make a sort of...diorama I guess. You'll see when the pieces are all together. Unless it's already obvious.
Aside from the completely obvious of Stephen King, I'd like to read some more horror fiction. I've heard Jack Ketchum is good - any suggestions? Please don't tell me to read Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice. Not interested.
It's pretty short, so I'm not sure if it's possible but I want to learn how to braid my hair. See pic of my hair at the bottom of the blog and tell me if it's do-able, and if so, how. Or you can come over and we can have a hair party and you can do it for me.
Can ANYONE tell me if there's a gourmet cupcake cafe in Brisbane? I vaguely remember hearing something about one in Paddington I think, but I'm quite sure it was just a lovely dream. Where the hell can one get awesome cupcakes in this town?
Would anyone like to have a picnic with me one Sunday soon...with cupcakes? At New Farm?

I love cephalopods.

Happy Hump Day

2009-02-25T11:32:00.003+10:00

Monday: Still close enough to the weekend for you to bask in its glow. (I don't like Mondays, tell me why!)
Tuesday: The worst day of the week. Too far away from the weekend either way. (Goodbye Ruby Tuesday)
Wednesday: Hump Day. The week is half over, it's all downhill from here. (Wednesday Morning, 3 AM)
Thursday: Kebab Day, the day before Friday. (Every other day of the week is fine but whenever Thursday comes you can find me cryin' all the time)
Friday: The best day of the week. An entire weekend lays before you. There's a reason people write so many songs about Fridays. (It's Friday I'm In Love, Friday On My Mind, Thank God It's Friday)
Saturday: Seriously, everyone loves Saturday. (Saturday Night, doo doo doo, 10.15 on a Saturday Night and the tap drips, Another Saturday Night and I ain't got nobody)
Sunday: Not so good. The worst part of Sunday is Sunday night. The realisation that tomorrow will be Monday. (Sunday is Gloomy, my hours are slumberless, Sunday Bloody Sunday!)

Things that have happened in the past 5 days:

Bought a ukulele. Love it. Watch Israel Kamakawiwo'ole play Somewhere Over the Rainbow on ukulele. You've probably heard it on a couple of movies before, I love the video - Iz seems like an amazing person. He died in '97.
Saturday we hosted a party for my housemate's birthday at our apartment. It was insane and messy. I'll post some photos on my flickr soon when I get around to reinstalling Photoshop on my laptop. In the meantime check out the photos our friend Tim took with his camera that is a million times better than mine on his flickr.
Sunday...Recovered, and spent too much time on StumbleUpon. That app will eat your hours away. And really, I don't mind.
Finally finished reading my excellent book Nights at the Circus by Angela Carter. Really dirty gothic novel set between London and Russia in what I guess would be late 1800s? The main character is a cockney trapeze artist with wings whose name is Fevvers. The story follows Fevvers and the members of a circus group from London to Russia and it's quite beautiful and dirty at the same time. In one word I'd call it "grimy".
Saw Gran Torino at the movies last night. Anyone else seen it? I did like it, Clint Eastwood is badass and I know it was supposed to show people accepting each others' races it just...kinda rubbed me the wrong way in a few places. Everyone is constantly whipping out racist names at each other, and the only people who don't react to that are the Hmong people. I didn't really get that. Anyone care to interject on that? Also, pretty triggering at the end - sorry for spoilers but eh, it's a pretty straightforward movie. The main young girl character is beaten and raped and she walks in the door to her family home with her face horrifically maimed and I cried at the sight of her. Anyway, good movie.
Spent about an hour reading this excellent article yesterday. It's called "How You guys, that's right, you GUYS, can prevent rape". I'm kind of paranoid lately. Every single day I read the news and there's a new article about another woman being raped. Every single fucking day. I'm looking at taking self-defense classes, anyone else like to come with?Also...investing in a baseball bat.
Entered into the International Women's Day Fun Run held at Southbank on the 8th March. It's a 5km course and you don't have to run the whole way. I plan to run/walk/run/walk/complain/walk. Entry is only open for a couple more days so book in soon if you're interested. I also received a whole bunch of stickers, posters, bookmarks and ribbons for International Women's Day in the mail, so if anyone wants some just ask. Or you can order your own (they're all free) from Queensland Gov's Office For Women site.
Right now I am eating Girl Guides cookies, listening to Jeff Buckley and about to make myself some mee gourang for lunch.

Happy Hump Day!

An Open Letter

2009-02-20T15:48:00.006+10:00

To the various people I see throughout my days.

To the white-blonde guy who walks past the bus-stop in the mornings,

You are a very striking looking guy. If I had your bone structure and hair colour, I would consider going on the cover band circuit as a Billy Idol impersonator.

To all the women I see wearing office casual, with jogging shoes,

It weirds me out and I don't know why you do it. Do you just wear them when you're on your way home and keep a cooler pair of shoes in your bag or something? Doesn't that get annoying? Do you really think joggers go with those classy duds you have on? Seriously, you look hella hot from the ankles up. White joggers should never have been invented.

To the girl I drooled over on Thursday morning,

I really liked your shirt, because it had a big blue and red target on it and reminded me of Tank Girl. You wore those denim short-shorts so well, and your hair was luscious. And then as I got close enough to pass you, I noticed you had freckles all over. You are so gorgeous.

To the 3 hot American jerks wearing hospital scrubs on the train this morning,

You reminded me of Scrubs, and for that, I thank you. You are all superbly hot.

To the witty bus driver I occasionally get on the way home,

Thanks for not being a sadsack jerk like all the other ones. I like how you try to joke with every single passenger. It may make the journey take longer, but it makes everyone happier.

To the people who press the crossing button repeatedly,

This will not make the lights change any faster. In fact, it does nothing at all. You really don't even need to press that button, because the traffic lights are not dictated by how many pedestrians need to cross the road. They are all timed, and if you just wait, your turn will come.

To the people who press the crossing button while I'm leaning on it,

Get the hell away from me. You know I already pressed it, I'm leaning on it. You just stepped into my space bubble, and for that you should die. Step away from me.

To the person serving the counter at the Mexican place,

I still haven't figured out if you're a man becoming a woman, or a woman who looks like a man becoming a woman. Whatever you are, you're hot, and your hair is the highest beehive I've ever seen. Props.

To my coworker,

It's not funny or cool when you diss on your wife.

To the lady at the chemist counter,

I'm sorry for the look of shock and indignation I gave you when you told me how much my prescription would cost. I guess I'm not used to Big Medicine raping my bank account. It's not your fault.

To my brother who when I walked into work this morning said "Nice dress. Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?",

That was actually pretty fucking funny.

To Janeane Garofolo,

I wish we could be best friends. We could get real drunk and dance to My Sharona, talk about the indie music scene and watch Mike Judge cartoons. You could teach me how to properly apply eyeliner, then we'd go op-shopping for Doc Martens. After that we could go sit in the park and talk about the 'normals', while dreading each other's hair and reading Sylvia Plath to each other or something. Maybe we could get matching Gonzo-fist tattoos. If you're into it. Call me.

Personal Leave

2009-02-17T22:04:00.004+10:00

My laptop has been broken for the past couple of days, I'm left using my boyfriend's. As such I haven't read any news or blogs and I'm kind of going crazy. Add to this that I'm kind of unable to focus on anything except how much my entire body hurts. I had my first circus class last night. It was a brutal hour and a half of sadism. Lucky I'm a masochist. I feel pain in places I didn't know could feel pain, and I can't lift my arms above my head. All I'm able to do right now is lie still and dream.

So here's a list of things that I would do if I had a full month's paid leave.

Obtain a super fancy and comfortable chair shaped like a throne. Cover windows with dark material. Obtain cape. Read Lord of the Rings trilogy while simultaneously playing corresponding Led Zeppelin songs. Legally change my name to something Welsh-sounding with extra apostrophes. Spell the I's with Y's. Name must contain a minimum of one W.
Join a gym for one month, one with a swimming pool. Exercise more than is good for one person. Emerge at the end of the month with giant guns. Challenge all those who oppose me to arm wrestles. Win.
Go into business making gourmet cupcakes. Quit job.
Cram. Finish IT course in one month. Arrive back at work and demand promotion. Get dejected when I am rejected. Resign myself to life of monotony and subordinance.
Go to Peru. Climb to Macchu Piccu. Eat fried guinea pig. Probably die from allergic reaction (yes I am deathly allergic to guinea pigs. Last time I touched one, my throat closed up). Downside: expensive.
Write a novel. Upon completion, read through once more. Burn book.
Volunteer at a library. Show up every day, inducing all the paid employees to begin to whisper behind back about "that weird unpaid girl". Continue love affair with books unheeded.
Volunteer for scientific experiments. Get probed. Run on treadmills. Get wired. Get electrocuted. Answer questions. Be watched while I sleep. Take strange pills. Eventually, have hair fall out and skin begin to rash horribly. Gain large amounts of weight, vomit unknown purple things and grow a tail. Get paid splendidly.
Grow a tail.
Seek out an untrafficked river in rainforest preferably. Build hobbit house. Take you down to my place by the river. Feed you tea and oranges that come all the way from China. Wear rags and feathers from Salvation Army counters. You know that I'm half crazy but that's why you want to be there.
Grow a large amount of Venus fly trap plants. Feed them meat and blood. Re-enact Little Shop of Horrors much to the amusement of friends and neighbours.
Sell all possessions and clothes. Begin anew.

That's all I can think of for now. What would you do with a month off work?

"And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water and he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower. And when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him he said 'All men will be sailors then until the sea shall free them'. But he himself was broken long before the sky would open. Forsaken, almost human, he sank beneath your wisdom like a stone."

Scented

2009-02-17T10:23:00.002+10:00

Smells I love...

-The dying plant sitting in the shower at work.
-Sauteeing mushrooms
-Aaron's hair when it hasn't been washed
-Our pillows
-The perfume I never wear anymore that smells like candy
-Mangoes
-Rain
-Hair after it's freshly dyed
-Toothpaste-breath

My favourite way to fall asleep is with my nose in his hair.

I am currently in the middle of the worst mood swing of recent memory. At work. With nothing to calm me down (chocolate?). Please someone, send help.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2009-02-15T21:57:00.004+10:00

So I've had a pretty frustrating weekend/week/month. I'm not feeling so perky. In the interests of wanting to know if it works - is anyone else on the pill Yaz? I'm switching to it next week, because I told my doctor that I pretty much can't stop crying, so she wrote me up a prescription. I had a big read about Yaz when I got home and found out that there's such a thing as Premenstrual dysphoric disorder which - to be fair my doctor didn't seem too interested in going into my mood swings so much, so no I'm not formally diagnosed or anything - but it seems that the symptoms are me everyday. So is anyone else on Yaz, what's your experience, does anyone else have killer crying jags, or is it just me?

My weekend: For Valentines Day, we woke up and it was raining, so we stayed in bed watching Boston Legal for a few hours, which was nice. Then we went up to go on a trek to get some Italian. It turns out that all nice restaurants in the radius of our house do not open until 5pm. So we ate some cheap Indian which just made me long for my new favourite Indian place just up the road. Which was shut. I hate life.
So there was that. Today, once again I lay in bed all day, this time reading. I finished off A Child Called It by David Pelzer, which made me sick and reinforced my idea of becoming a foster parent someday. I get so upset to know that child, spouse, any abuse happens so often, it's happening right now, probably to someone you know. Once again...what the fuck is wrong with the world? And where is Dustin Hoffman with a bouquet of flowers to make me feel better? I'm glad I made that picture my desktop background.

Right now I've just finished reading a short story called The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. I've been wanting to read it for ages and swiped it up on ebay. It was brilliant, creepy and really disturbed me. It's a short tale based on Gilman's own experiences with mental illness in the 1800s - a woman who is stricken with some type of "female hysteria" is taken by her physician husband to a house in the country to let her "absorb some air". She's confined to a room on the top floor with hideous yellow wallpaper. She is told to rest, and unable to indulge in any of her hobbies - writing - and as the days pass she begins to hallucinate watching the wallpaper.
I also watched a great movie along the same lines last night called Bug. A woman and a retired veteran are together in a motel room and they begin to see bugs. The first hour was slow and I wasn't sure where it was going or if the story really mattered but then things started to go awry. It was one of those movies that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since watching.
Another one that I recommend is a film called Funny Games. The original is German or Austrian, but the director remade it himself shot-for-shot in English to get a wider audience. It was powerful and intense and disturbing and all those other words you can think of, and just watch it, okay?

Anyway, here's something I wrote the other day while kind of pissed off. Directed at anonymous.

You're one of those people whose best years were in high school. Consequently you never left in your head.
You still have the same friends and refuse to entertain the possibility of making new ones. You listen to the same music and refuse to listen to anything else, old or new.
Every day is the perfect time to reminisce.
You continue to live exactly the way you did the first time you moved out of home. I know, I did it too. Eating nothing but noodles, ice cream for breakfast and cereal for dinner. Let the bowls pile up cause someone else is bound to clean them. You stay up really late like you're badass for doing it. Watching Rage till the sun comes up and drinking coffee cause there's no one to come and tell you to turn it off. Then you were old enough to drink, so lying on the kitchen floor with a bag of goon became familiar. You still live like your parents are gone for the weekend.
It's always bothered me to see old schoolfriends on facebook who live in the same place and see the same people. You're just like them.
You think you're independent because you've lasted this long. But you've gone nowhere, you've learned nothing and you're the same person you were at 17.

Nyaww

2009-02-13T13:34:00.003+10:00

Well...this made me feel better instantly.
I've always loved Dustin Hoffman.
Happy Valentines :D

Sick

2009-02-13T12:01:00.002+10:00

I am. I'm totally fucking sick.

Skinheads in Zurich beating a Brazilian woman and carving initials of Switzerland's main right-wing party into her stomach. She miscarried.
A victim of gang rape in Saudi Arabia sentenced to 100 lashes and a year in jail for adultery.
A pastor stating that the bushfires are God's punishment for the state of Victoria decriminalising abortion.
And seriously...Chris Brown beat the living shit out of Rihanna, but it's her fault cause she "started it"?

What the fuck is wrong with the world?
There are no words.

City Council: Workin' for YOU!

2009-02-12T13:39:00.003+10:00

Yesterday when I got home from work, I thought for a while that it was raining because I could hear a constant steady stream of water. I went out onto my balcony to enjoy the rain, but what's this? Sky's clear. I look over into my neighbour's yard to see that they have left an outside tap running on full, straight onto the concrete. What the? I get kind of annoyed cause I fucking hate seeing people waste water, but I figure they'll turn it off when they hear it and remember. It's loud enough that I can hear it, so unless they're deaf, it's not likely to escape their attention.

That was 6pm yesterday. Fast forward to 1.30pm today and it's still running, there's water everywhere. So obviously, the people aren't home. There's no way I'm going into their yard to turn it off, as they aren't even in my street. Normally, I'll kind of just turn a blind eye, everyone else does, why should I care, but that is a LOT of wasted water, so I decide to take a page out of my Nana's book and call someone about it. So first I call the Brisbane Water Commission, who tell me that this is a council matter. They put me through to council.

I explain the sitch to the (unsympathetic) operator. She lets me know that even if I did put in a request for someone to come out, it would take 6 to 10 days for council workers to arrive (they don't drive cars, but harness snails for transport), and even then they would probably not venture onto the property because it is private property. She suggests I go and turn it off. Sure. I'LL go into someone else's private property for you.

Thanks for nothin Brisbane City Council. Not like we're having a water crisis or anything.

Help me find a movie

2009-02-10T11:03:00.004+10:00

Hi all, I need a little help.

This Valentines Day, I am actually in a relationship, but my boyfriend is working that night, so I decided I might get out a chick flick and cry on my own. (Sorry Minna, but I wanna be home when he gets home from work, for the sexytimes, you understand)

Anyways, I haven't watched a "chick flick" since I moved out of my Mum's house, and I don't really know what is out there for me to watch. So I've got a list of criteria and I need some suggestions.

-Must contain British people. Their ability to express their feelings is usually hindered by their stiff-upper-lip. I can relate to this.
-At the end, they break their stiff-upper-lip-ness by doing something extravagant to show their love, like buying flowers, humiliating themselves in front of a large crowd of people, or beating up Hugh Grant.
-I'm kind of hoping that the main characters won't be dazzlingly beautiful people, but just normal.
-Something with the potential to make me cry. Even if it's crying like "aww that's gorgeous".
-I know a lot of this criteria equals Bridget Jones' Diary, but I am adding a new criteria right now. NO Renee Zellweger.
-Bonus points if it contains Colin Firth. I have a ladyboner for him.
-A happy ending.

Suggestions?

*Droooool*

EDIT: Haha...perhaps I shouldn't be so hasty to watch a "romcom". Check out this article about how romantic comedies give audiences unrealistic expectations of love. And all this time I'd been blaming that on my parents.

Commuter Idiocy #1

2009-02-10T09:07:00.004+10:00

This will be a recurring theme, because the list of stupid things that my fellow public transportsmen are able to do to annoy me is endless, bottomless, the magnitude of the list is amazing.

So today...I'm looking at you. Yes, you, old man. Are you a maths teacher? Because you dress like one. That's not what I find stupid. I mean, I do. I can get over that.
But I do want you to know that standing curbside staring angrily up the road will not make the bus come any faster.

Hey you, lady with excessive coinage. Is it really necessary for you to run to the front of the line when the bus pulls up, so you can get on first and make the bus driver count your coins just so you can get a seat before anyone else? Some of us have Go-Cards.

Hey you, private school girl. I don't know if you've noticed the signs on every window, but they say that you paid half-fare compared to me. And I know you didn't pay it, your parents did. So stand the fuck up and give me a seat.

Hey you, entitlement-crazy old woman in the aisle seat. How about you sit down in the window seat so that when the bus fills up and I ask to sit there, you don't have to sigh and sneer at me like I'm trash as you move your knees just enough for me to squeeze my ass through right in your face to sit there. Perhaps you could have just moved over, or, I don't know, sat there in the first place.

Hey you, guy with techno playing in your earphones loud enough we can all hear it...You're not fooling anyone. Did you know that you can now, in this fine year 2009, purchase earphones that do not broadcast your "music" to the entire bus. They are available from JB Hi-Fi for $12.95, and they go in your ears which also helps to entirely keep out the sound of schoolkids squawking. You can thank me later.

That'll be it for today. Don't even get me started on train travel. I dread days when I have to take the train. If I wanted to be surrounded by scum, I'd go live in a pond.

Way to go, brain

2009-02-09T10:22:00.004+10:00

I think my brain is getting extremely lazy when it comes to my dreams.

Usually I have pretty far-out stupidly extravagant dreams that don't bother me, and I think how awesome it was for my unconscious brain to come up with that. Like when the world was on fire, but only smouldering, and buildings everywhere had collapsed, but I was in the Queen St Mall and I just wanted to get to Hungry Jacks to have a bacon deluxe, but there were schoolboys everywhere and I couldn't get through the throng and gave up. That was deep.

But lately, my brain has gotten lazy, and done away with subtlety.

I dream about all my insecurities in action. But instead of being kooky and symbolic about it, it's just straightforward. As if I didn't already think about that every waking moment, now I have to think about it every second I sleep. I'm not going to go give an example, because it's so obvious and upsetting, I don't really want the world to know my weaknesses. I keep that privilege for a select few, who could and sometimes do use it against me. You know who you are.

If I could only dream symbollically and strangely like I used to, maybe I could pretend that I'm not dreaming about EXACTLY what I'm dreaming about. I could fool myself into thinking "oh well that obviously means I'm just troubled over the current state of my funds" or "well I'm obviously just a little overworked at the moment". But no. Thanks brain. I go to sleep to escape from my bullshit. But you just bring it right in there to sleep with me. I hate you.

I hate my brain.

Does anyone have skills in hypnosis or massage? I got some serious tension I need to get rid of.

Dear Stephen King

2009-02-05T20:57:00.003+10:00

I love you. Maybe one day we can have babies that inherit your talent. But I'll keep my last name when we marry, and our children can be called King-Llewellyn, so that they will carry on our name...well mostly mine...and bring great honour to my already awesome family that is descended from Welsh Princes. Princes, Kings, it was destined to be.

Perhaps you could take me under your wing and teach me all the secrets that you didn't put in On Writing - I know you have more secrets, because you wouldn't just give that shit away for free. I mean, yes I paid for that book. Do you have some kind of note card system, where everytime you think of something that is evil and soul-destroying, you write it down, then you put them all in a hat and draw out three?
"Okay let's see what the cards say today. There's a....clown who....eats children....and he lives in the sewers!"
"Okay we've got a...bad cop who....kills everyone in sight....but he's actually a flesh suit for an evil being!"
I'm pretty sure I have you figured out Stephen King.

But then you trip me up with your unbelievably horrifying stories that are so simple. Like being handcuffed to a bed for a weekend, or trapped in a hot car by a rabid dog. Can I just let you know, I fainted and threw up while reading Gerald's Game. That's how highly I think of you.
I don't think I've ever read one of your books and NOT loved it.

Sometimes I get carried away and I imagine you are the incarnation of the Lord here on earth, and I think, you sneaky sneaky deity, trying to blend in with us mere mortals. How else would you be able to put on paper that which harrows us and makes us praise you that we are not in such a situation (hello, Pet Sematary)?

In all seriousness I'd like to thank you for creating so many awesome female characters - that's probably my favourite thing about your stories, and perhaps the reason I find myself sucked into a different world so often whilst reading. I'm not alienated by a useless screaming head with no character - your women are plunged into terror, and they don't always keep their head, but they always go it alone and they're JUST LIKE ME. You've written heroes that are women, villians that are women, and victim-hero women who defeat the evil men in their lives. Thanks for reminding us all that girls can kill an evil clown with a sling-shot, murder an entire prom with their mind, or kidnap an author and keep him in her house. ;)

Also, I love happening upon random columns you've written, or interviews with you where you lay the smackdown. Not to mention that you live in the greatest house known to man.

To quote Oasis...I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.

PS...You look like a character from Dr Seuss.
PPS...Here's what happens when I get bored and think about Cujo.

New hairz

2009-02-02T22:32:00.002+10:00

I has them.

They make me feel better. Slightly. Stupid bad weeks. They happen too often. Everyday should be sunshine and purple hair and rainbows and lollipops and kittens. And zombies.

Kind of obsessed at the moment with the NYC Burlesque Pastie Blog. I can't stop thinking about this set...kitty titties! (PS In case you didn't realise, that site is Not Really Safe For Work...BOOBS!)

"The most she will do is throw shadows at you but she's always a woman to me."

stupid

2009-01-31T21:15:00.003+10:00

I really shouldn't blog when I'm lonely...but sometimes I just want out of this, right now, more than anything.
I wish I wasn't so quick to get frustrated, angry, upset, raging.
I wish I could learn not to put myself through the shit that I do.
I wish I could keep friends and learn to stop sabotaging that by backing out to be by myself for another night.
I wish I had enough money that I could stop backing out for monetary reasons!
I wish I didn't get stupid ideas in my head - therefore bypassing that moment where I come to understand they're completely fucking ridiculous. Way to make a fool of yourself Tash.
I wish that when I let down my defenses, I'd stop getting burned.
-----------------------------
I wish Mike Patton were here right now.
And that he had some salt and vinegar chips, a bottle of vodka and some large speakers.
Actually, I kinda wish I was in a club, dancing, with my eyes closed, and millions of people around me, and it's so loud my ears are ringing but at least I don't feel abandoned.

Wired Women

2009-01-28T20:45:00.004+10:00

Tonight I attended the Game On talk titled Wired Women, held at the State Library of Queensland. It was being held as part of the Game On exhibition currently showing at the library.
It was facilitated by Jane Turner and the speakers were awesome, although their introductions were so long and I was just so excited to be there that I may be wrong in their job descriptions.
Associate Professor Ruth Christie is from QUT and from what I gather she works in a function to encourage people into the IT, science and engineering industries, and I know that she has a much more important job, but I really suck at taking notes (my pen was outta ink). Hannah Crosby works as an artist and designer for THQ Australia. She offered a lot of views of the artistic side of game creation, and she was very well versed in how games and gaming affect society - very well spoken. I was really interested in Penny Sweetser though, who works for 2K Australia and again I hate this phrase but - from what I gather, she majors in AI, and works in that side of game production.

Throughout the talk they discussed the topics of the lack of women with careers in the gaming industry and why this might be, and women who play games and the effect that a broadening appeal of games has to people (not just women).

Regarding the lack of women with careers in gaming, it became clear that the industry is not exactly well publicised as a career choice - both Penny and Hannah said they both had no idea you could even HAVE a job like that, until they basically fell into it. Ruth talked about how the jobs are readily available, but there is such a low percentage of girls who are taking the university courses that would make those jobs available to them. She said that the gaming industry simply cannot attract women into it. On the way home, the friend who I went with spoke with me about this - we both work in offices on the same street as game studios and yet would never have even realised that they exist in such abundance. Perhaps different could be said of America, but for us we always thought it was just an American thing, that kind of job wouldn't exist in Australia - but there's the proof right down the road from us. This definitely speaks about the publicising (or lack thereof) of the gaming industry. Ruth suggested more "Open Days" for school children so that they can realise this kind of career DOES exist - she believes that is the age that you need to capture someone's imagination for it.

My favourite speaker was Penny Sweetser. For every discussion of what games appeal to "normal women" or how some games are not marketed to "normal women", she was always quick to say, well, I'm a normal woman, and I play these games. She made one excellent point by saying "as long as a game doesn't actively alienate women, there are going to be women who want to play it".
When somebody remarked about the ol' glass ceiling in a gaming career for women, she countered that there was none, the gaming industry is extremely receptive of women, it's not just a boy's club, they want that diversity because many different viewpoints and backgrounds will help to create a great game.
I loved that for Penny, nothing was really about being a "woman in gaming" like it was some kind of badge or label. The final question, when asked how do they all keep passionate in their professions, she simply answered "I just love games."

There was great discussion about how women are portrayed in video games, and Lara Croft was mentioned. Hannah said that she only minded "when a character's bra size is bigger than their IQ" and stated that she thinks that gaming is about escapism and women players want to have that element that they could be or wish they were this person - just like men do. If you think about it, when are the characters in "guy's games" ever effeminate little boys?
My friend and I talked later about how when playing a game that allows you to choose what gender you are, we often pick women - don't know what this says about us, although in general I prefer to play games where your character is pre-determined. As an aside, that reminds me of an excellent post I read today over at Shakesville written by Melissa McEwan where it's mentioned how kick-ass the female characters have become in fighter-arcade style games. Ling Xiaoyu FTW King of Iron Fist Tournament!

All in all, I enjoyed the talk immensely. I liked that it was more focused on the career side of the gaming industry and how it is open to women - I was pretty inspired to run out of the room and go finish my IT course.

The talk was recorded and should be available shortly on the State Library website. I'll come back and update when it does get put up. In the meantime, some generous soul should head to Steam and gift me Left 4 Dead. Love you.

GTFO

2009-01-28T15:08:00.005+10:00

My pet peeve for today:

People on myspace and facebook who state in their profile that they hate technology and have no interest in it. You have no idea how many times I have read this on friend's pages. And they espouse it like it's some kind of high moral standpoint, or like other people will agree with them.
"This technology thing, I just have no time for it."

Hey people, if you don't like technology so much, GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET!

Here she comes

2009-01-27T19:12:00.003+10:00

Today I was obsessed with two articles on Jezebel (I live there).
The first topic was pageantry - the article is called Miss America: Empowering or Embarassing? I've always struggled to figure out why exactly it was that pageants made me feel so uncomfortable. What I love most about Jezebel is that I can go there with an unformed opinion yet a vague leaning, read the discussions and come away with a more informed view. The commenters have many different viewpoints, experiences and histories, which makes for awesome debates.
On the pageantry topic, I do find it demeaning. Pageants these days are often rewarded with scholarships and contestants not only have to look pretty, but also be involved in community work and choose a charity to volunteer for. That's lovely.
The fact is, in the end, this isn't a Nice Person contest. The modern portrayal of pageants as a platform of volunteering, intelligence, and further education does seem like a total lie. Because the judging criteria is not based on that.
Two comments that particularly stuck with me:
"If this were a high status, desirable thing to do, men would be doing it and trying to prevent women from doing it. They aren't."
"There's nothing feminist about taking part in a contest that privileges conventionally attractive women over those who are not."

Next, the What Do Women Want? article! Man, were all my favourite blogs totally ripping this apart today. Instead of trying to say anything new, which I would fail at anyway, I'm just going to link to a whole bunch of great pieces regarding it.
Jezebel's post
Feministing
Feministe (very awesome)
Violet Blue (I love Violet Blue)

So go at it, read them all, from professional awesome-bloggers, instead of little old me.

In other news, tomorrow night I'm going to a talk called Wired Women, at the State Library. It's about where the diversification of the gaming industry might take future game play. I'm pretty excited about that. Thursday I will be having my first singing lesson and I have no idea what to expect and I'm kind of nervous because, let's face it, it's been a while and my voice sucks. But I guess that's the point of taking lessons.

Anyway...good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

Haha!

2009-01-25T18:34:00.003+10:00

Dear internet, make your own Sexmap: http://www.humansexmap.com/

I'm pretty sure it's Sunday night and I've been drinking vodka and OJ since 2 this afternoon. Tomorrow is Australia Day which I don't really celebrate because we are a colony of convicts and I don't like to celebrate bogan culture. So I'm getting drunk today which means I'll have my hangover tomorrow instead of on Tuesday when I have to work. In case you didn't know...
I don't much like "Australian" culture. I may be wrong (and drunk) but I see it as parading to be multicultural at the same time as being totally racist, sexist and culturally un-inclusive, although I'm pretty sure that's not a word. I will cede that Australia is a great place to live, even if the weather shits me, and I'm quite free compared to many other countries. And Hugh Jackman.
I see it as a good place to commit murder a la our friend Ivan Milat. There are miles of uninhabited land, so I see Australia as a land of opportunity...to bury someone.
My apologies to any total Ozzies (TM) but you have to admit...our country is totally ripe for joking about. Which is why we are so free!
Aussie aussie aussie Oi Oi Oi.

Doubt spoilers

2009-01-21T12:06:00.004+10:00

I went to see the movie Doubt last night, originally a play by John Patrick Shanley, starring Meryl Streep, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, you can click here for a trailer, and here's the synopsis from IMDB:

It's 1964, St. Nicholas in the Bronx. A charismatic priest, Father
Flynn, is trying to upend the schools' strict customs, which have long been
fiercely guarded by Sister Aloysius Beauvier, the iron-gloved Principal who
believes in the power of fear and discipline. The winds of political change are
sweeping through the community, and indeed, the school has just accepted its
first black student, Donald Miller. But when Sister James, a hopeful innocent,
shares with Sister Aloysius her guilt-inducing suspicion that Father Flynn is
paying too much personal attention to Donald, Sister Aloysius sets off on a
personal crusade to unearth the truth and to expunge Flynn from the school. Now,
without a shard of proof besides her moral certainty, Sister Aloysius locks into
a battle of wills with Father Flynn which threatens to tear apart the community
with irrevocable consequence.

So now you know what it's about, if you haven't seen it, please turn back now, as the rest of this post I'm going to be discussing my interpretation and it's going to ruin the movie for you. Not even in a small way that you'll get over, but a quite obvious way where you pretty much won't forgive me. So don't do that to yourself. Come back later after you've seen it, which I HIGHLY recommend, because it is the most powerful drama I've seen in a long time. The more I think about it, the more I like it.

------------------SPOILERS---------------------

The central theme of this movie is doubt versus certainty, the director plays a headgame with the audience, and has said that he wants the audience to experience doubt, as it is superior to certainty.

My reaction to Sister Aloysius (Streep) and Father Flynn (Hoffman) was my favourite experience of the movie, as the relationship Father Flynn may have with Donald is completely unknown - you are whipped to and fro believing that a character is "good" or "bad".

Sister Aloysius is cranky and vicious in her quest to out Father Flynn, which is completely unfounded except for her belief that he has done wrong. Father Flynn is gentle and plying, but brief scenes made me uncomfortable and suspicious that he may be acting inappropriately, as well as his vague evasive answers to the nuns when questioned.

Their climactic encounter in her office is an amazing scene in which I loved Sister Aloysius. She "steps away from God" to make sure that the right thing is done - she lies.
Father Flynn taunts her many times with his nonchalant authority over her. He shouts that she "has taken vows, obedience being one! You answer to us!"
She replies, "I will step outside the church if that's what needs to be done, till the door should shut behind me! I will do what needs to be done, though I'm damned to Hell! You should understand that, or you will mistake me. "

Finally, the last scene reveals to us that Father has resigned. Sister Aloysius has reported him to the Monsignor who has demoted and chastised her and promoted the Father to pastor of another district, giving him pretty much free reign and to be answerable to no one.
She has taken on the "old boys club", as shown by the earlier juxtaposed scenes of the silent, austere nuns and the rowdy, drunk priests eating dinner separately. She has taken them on and lost.

I believe it is this that causes her to break down in front of Sister James and proclaim that she has her doubts. In the end her doubt that Father Flynn had done wrong never waivered, even though all those around her didn't believe. To her, his resignation was his confession, though it could have also been the path of least resistance when faced with a woman with such strong beliefs.

Her belief in God and the church, and the church's chain of command is not separate until the end. She is under the thumb of a dishonourable male heirarchy who would brush such sinister accusations under the carpet - causing her to doubt her place in the church and ultimately her faith.

Two other ideas that I found interesting were that Father Flynn could be gay, and also that he could be molesting many other children unknown.
In a heartbreaking scene with Sister A and Donald's mother, it is revealed that Donald is gay. Could Father Flynn also be gay, and just protecting Donald from bullies?
There are a few other strange scenes with two of the other boys that made me wonder if they are not also being molested, just reacting differently than Donald. Where Donald's reaction is one of love and adoration for Father Flynn, another boy, William London is shown flinching and reacting with anger towards Father Flynn every scene, though this storyline is never investigated.

Apparently the director only told Hoffman whether or not his character was guilty. I think this strategy worked amazingly - he is at times natural and nice to make you believe him, and at others, vague and arrogant enough to make you have no doubt about his guilt. Meryl Streep's performance is amazing, her inflexible "dragon lady" is too hard to sympathise with, even though her quest is noble and right.

Since there is no real conclusion to the movie, your opinion of it becomes sort of a personality test. Do you think he did it, or not?

As for me, I believe Father Flynn is guilty, but I love that considering it over and over never fails to make me doubt that - the entire premise.

Nightmares

2009-01-20T17:22:00.003+10:00

My boyfriend keeps waking me up in the dark morning to tell me that he dreamt I cheated on him again. It's happened about 7 times now and I feel bad for him. When I was with my last boyfriend, I used to dream at least once a week that he would cheat on me. And even though I knew he never had or would, they upset me more than is rational. I guess it didn't help that when I told him, he only laughed at me.
I just googled dream interpretations and the best I could find was this:

dreaming about catching your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse with another partner probably indicates a deep seated anxiety on your part, either worry about your appearance, doubts about your attractiveness, or just generalized anxiety about the future.

After a recent spate of break-ups of people I know, I've thought about my nightmare scenario that stems from my total insecurity in relationships. Yep, I said it.
It goes like this: while together, you develop this incurable insecurity regarding a girl he knows. He calls her his best friend, they hang out a lot, they have a "past" that he hints at, he talks about how great she is, offset by the fact that he never tells you how great you are. You realise she's never around when you are. You try and get over it and feel guilty the whole time.
Eventually you break up, for unrelated reasons.
A couple days later, they're together, confirming all your deepest darkest fears.
I heard someone say once, "it's not when he's talking about someone else that you should worry. It's when he stops."
THIS is my nightmare scenario. It has happened to me once, but all the recent breakups made me think of it again and how it's a horrible feeling that you were right in your insecurities.

Having said that, thinking of all the heart-breaking ways relationships can end, or go wrong, or hurt or not even begin...I'm more than thankful for what I have. It's not perfect, nothing ever is. But I've never laughed so hard, and I've never learnt so much. At the same time as having someone there for me, I've never felt so independent within a relationship. I hope we keep changing and movin' and shakin' and surprising and smiling with each other. And I hope he stops dreaming about me cheating on him, cause it upsets me too.

Hard to Define

2009-01-15T08:30:00.000+10:00

Last week there was a really great post on Jezebel called Close Encounters: When The Nice Guy Down The Street Makes You Uncomfortable. Here's an excerpt, but I recommend a read of the article, and the multitude of comments from readers.

The other day I was talking with a friend who said she had a problem. "Not a big
problem, but it's bothering me." She explained that she frequents a 24-hour
market near her apartment and that lately the guy who works there has been
making her uncomfortable. "I think I was just too friendly," she said. She added
that she felt guilty. "He's nice; it's not threatening; I even think he's
married - it's just a lot of 'I've missed your pretty smile,' and 'you haven't
been in this week' — and I kind of dread going in there!" I knew exactly what
she meant. But when I tried to explain the situation to a male friend, he looked
at me blankly. "Does he insult her?" No. "Is he inappropriate?" Not exactly.
"He's just being friendly? What's the problem." The 'problem' of course, is that
as women we're vulnerable in ways guys can't appreciate. Sure, they can
comprehend that catcalling is offensive and that pervs rubbing against you on
the subway is disgusting. But they can't understand the smaller things you need
to guard against, day in and day out, that you can't be too friendly, because it
just leaves you...open.

I feel like this every single day. It's the reason I wear sunglasses at all times and walk faster than everyone else around me, wear headphones and read a book simultaneously, it's why the one time I thought I was being followed home, I walked around the block until I was sure I was alone. It's why I don't go to the corner store on Saturdays because the guy who works on that day told me to come in every Saturday just so he could see me. It's why I ignore every friend request because of the guy 20 years older than me who used to serve me coffee two years ago found me on Myspace and asked me out on a date.

I asked someone I know - a boy - to read the article because I wanted them to know that it's true and I do feel like that. They told me it was petty to complain - petty to feel upset about these "encounters". Which made me more upset than I probably should have been.

But at what point am I no longer being petty when I am upset about these things? At what point am I "justified" in complaining? Could it be that when the guy at work calls me sweetness and I complain, that's petty, but I have to wait until the day I catch him leering at me (hypothetical here) to be justified in being upset about it?

Some people do not understand social boundaries, for lack of a better term. If someone is invading my space, or forcing me into an unwanted, often inappropriate conversation, if I feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, I will not pity them or feel bad when I tell them to leave me alone. You cannot excuse someone who is not picking up on my blatant cues that I don't want to talk. When I'm sitting at the bus stop wearing headphones and reading, does it really look like I'm in the mood to be chatted up?

I guess the person I asked may not understand this feeling, because maybe it's never escalated to something more, and they've never had the urge to break into a frantic run just because there's someone walking a little too closely behind you. Maybe they've never felt the sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach when you realise the man behind the counter is leering at your boobs...and it's not like you can hide them. Is this my fault, did I wear something too revealing?

I'm most likely never going to stop feeling this way, and telling me it's petty is not exactly helping. I guess it was just nice to have somebody put the feeling in words - to know that I'm not being narcisstic, people everywhere feel like this. Why so prevalent?

As for me...I'm investing in a burqa.

Rat king

2009-01-12T11:13:00.003+10:00

I now own seasons 1 & 2 of the greatest TV show of all time...30 Rock.

I've been watching it pretty much non-stop, and really, all I want to put out there right now is my favourite quote that I laughed at non-stop for five minutes, had to rewind and laugh at all over again. Dennis is just so macho and over the top lying and it's freaking hilarious. Also I want to pledge my undying love for Dean Winters. Dayum.

Jack: You enjoy that restaurant?

Dennis: No, I think I was right about that place. We saw a whole nest of rats when we were leaving.

Liz: No, we didn't.

Dennis: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd freak out. Actually, I think I saw a rat king.

Cerie: What's a rat king?

Frank: Oh, it's when a buncha rats are crammed into a tiny space and their tails get all tangled up; and they can't even pull apart.

Dennis: And it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king and we saw one.

Out on a Limb

2009-01-07T11:10:00.004+10:00

I NEVER join classes. I have a huge fear of being in a class situation and making a total fool of myself. I even have a fear of humiliating myself in front of a teacher in a one-on-one situation. It's why I do Open Learning Tafe instead of just going to classes.
But this year I've enrolled in singing lessons and now this morning I just signed up for circus class!
The singing lessons are one-on-one in a private studio, which I'm much more comfortable doing. I've had singing lessons before but not for a few years, and my voice is pretty raggedy. I lost my voice twice last year so I'm pretty keen to build it back up again.

I was at the Game On exhibition at the State Library yesterday (which was fucking awesome, more later) and there's also currently a circus exhibition on there as well, so I grabbed a couple of brochures and decided to go back on the weekend.
One of the brochures was from Circa, who run training classes. And the more I thought about joining one of the classes, the more nervous I got. I pretty much just fretted about it all night and tried to come up with reasons why it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to do, or how I wouldn't be suited to it.
Then I thought, fuck it. I need to stop limiting myself over stupid fears. I WANT some cool skills. I already hula-hoop like a fiend, I want to be able to use my body well...for art!
So I rang up this morning and booked myself into the Conditioning class, which is sort of a pre-requisite for all the other classes. After this I'm interested in the Aerials class - trapeze, cloudswing, webs. Perhaps from there I might be able to go on and do burlesque, a secret dream of mine. I'm so fucking excited!!

About the Game On exhibition - it's on till mid-February and if you have ANY spare time at all, GO! There's two floors filled with games for you to play if you can elbow the kids out of the way. There's Pong, arcade machines, Ataris, Nintendos, a table full of handheld consoles, a Pokemon room, Dance Dance Revolution, X-Boxes, Playstations, Dooooom, fucking EVERYTHING. There's a little Rock Band stage set up with a projector where my two little brothers drew a bit of a crowd with their awesome rendition of Nirvana's In Bloom. There's also workshops like animation, how-to-draw-anime, game soundtracks, that kind of thing. So have a look on Qtix and look for anything under the heading "Game On". All held at the State Library at South Bank.
And if you miss it, there will be a big void in your soul that you won't ever be able to fill.

Ahem, also my apologies for the many capitalised words in this post. I'm excited.

No ifs, ands or butts

2009-01-05T19:14:00.006+10:00

This one's a few days late, but here is the 2008 wrap-up video for Target:Women starring my biggest girlcrush ever, Sarah Haskins. I've pretty much never known love until she came along.

PLEASE watch it! Target Women is Sarah's show on Current TV where she takes on mainstream media representations of women in advertising. Awesome ones to watch are the segments on bridal shows, cleaning ads, Twilight and poop. No one is funnier than Sarah Haskins. Perfect comedic timing? She has it.

Speaking of Twilight here's a cool albeit very long article from Bitch magazine taking a look at the way Twilight portrays abstinence and the totally unhealthy relationship between the two main characters, which is probably not a good thing to be portraying to gajillions of impressionable teenage girls. I haven't seen/read Twilight, and I don't really plan to. I've read a couple of articles about it in the same vein as this, and it pretty much seems like shitty fluff fiction with a bad message that stalking a girl is okay if you're a hot vampire. Also now I've read this cracked article of Twilight condensed, I won't ever have to read it or see the movie! I will say I am intrigued in the way I was about Harry Potter when I was younger - what is causing this mass hysteria?
Man do I ever hate Victorian upperclass vampires. I would say go read Anne Rice, but I'd rather have fantasies about a heterosexual vampire than go through fucking Interview with a Vampire again. That shit was latent and made me fear turning every page in case I'd stumble upon some vampire anal sex. I'm just not into it, sorry Anne.
I guess I'll stick to Stephen King. At the least he knows how to shove a good sex scene in the middle of a scary book.
Addendum re Robert Pattinson...
I would still hit that like the fist of a terrifying and mighty deity.

Horror Babes

2009-01-03T22:26:00.002+10:00

I'm enamoured with babes in horror movies. I'm not talking about the ones whose clothes seem to come off so easily, who trip over constantly (are you drunk?), who scream and squeal and do things that make you yell at the screen in frustration. By the way, is there any other genre that produces as many ouraged cries of "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU, DUMBASS!" as the world of horror? No, today I'm talking about the heroines of horror. While they also may not wear much clothing at times, they still kick ass, still get scared, but ultimately keep their wits and save the day. Alternatively, I've included a few here who are the incarnation of evil! Enjoy:

Ana (played by Sarah Polley) in Dawn of the Dead The main female protagonist of this DotD remake, Ana's a nurse who is consistently the voice of reason throughout the movie. She gets the honour of killing Steve-the-douchebag-turned-zombie (yay!) and is never pushed out of the action.

Sarah (played by Lori Cardille) in Day of the Dead Day of the Dead is the third in Romero's five Living Dead movies, this one set in a military bunker with characters who may be the last people left alive on earth - one of which being a scientist named Sarah, the only woman in the movie, aside from the dead ones. Being the only woman in the bunker, she has to be tough. Tougher than her boyfriend anyway, who has a breakdown after his arm is amputated and totally ruins everyone's shit, while Sarah leaves him and escapes with the other non-deranged people.

Selena (played by Naomie Harris) in 28 Days Later She's lasted 28 days since the rage virus spread and she has no qualms with immediately killing anyone she believes to be infected.

Carrie (played by Sissy Spacek) The quiet outcast who snaps on prom night after being humiliated and massacres everyone with her telekinetic powers. The book was written by Stephen King, who is my god for always writing not only the best books ever, but the best and strongest female characters - but that's another post.

Mrs Voorhees (played by Betsy Palmer) in Friday the 13th The entire movie the identity of the killer is so ambiguous until finally it's revealed - the middle-aged mother of a boy who drowned at the camp years before, bent on revenge. Nevermind that the kids she's killing aren't responsible for Jason's death, let's kill em all anyway!

The Monster's Mate (played by Elsa Lanchester) in Bride of Frankenstein My personal favourite - the Bride, created solely for the purpose of being Frankenstein's mate, is brought to life. Upon seeing her betrothed, she screams and rejects him.

Cherry Darling (played by Rose McGowan) in Planet Terror She has a gun...for a leg. Do I need to say much more? Go-go dancer leads a ragtag group to infiltrate an army barracks, does all the work for them, then proceeds to restart civilisation on her own after the dude she was fucking goes and dies. ALL WITH ONLY ONE LEG.

Leeloo (played by Milla Jovovich) in the The Fifth Element Milla kicks ass in every movie she's ever in, and although there should be a heads up to Alice from Resident Evil, my favourite character of hers is Leeloo, who is the Fifth Element that along with the four stones will create the ultimate weapon to destroy the Great Evil. So...there you go.

Amanda (played by Shawnee Smith) in the Saw series Amanda is John Kramer's first surviving victim who becomes his apprentice before going on to become a fully-fledged graduate of the school of Jigsaw.

Kate Fuller (played by Juliette Lewis) in From Dusk Till Dawn Juliette Lewis kicks monumental amounts of ass, but for this post I decided to pass up Mallory Knox and go with Kate Fuller. Watching her go from sweet little girl to vampire killer is pretty awesome, not to mention being one of the last two left alive. Even if Seth does dump her at the end. It wouldn't have worked out.

Dawn O'Keefe (played by Jess Weixler) in Teeth This movie straight-up ruled harder than anything ever, and everyone should see it. Dawn is a high-school girl who has pledged abstinence until marriage, that is until her "nice boyfriend" rapes her and dies in the process because Dawn has vagina dentata!! Teeth is an excellent black comedy although there is one scene that made me completely uneasy, and it had nothing to do with people's weeners being chomped off.

Honourable mentions, though they fall under a sci-fi banner more than horror I think, no list would be complete without the awesome:

Special Agent Dana Scully (played by Gillian Anderson) in The X-Files Ohh how I love you Scully, you voice of reason you. She is the skeptic to Mulder's believer. I love it more than anything when she gets her gun out, or lays the smack-down on someone, and those case reports she types out at the end of the episodes?! Let's just say that my love for Scully runs deep.

Ripley (played by Sigourney Weaver) in the Alien series All hail Ripley! If you can't figure out why Ripley was the last on this list and why I really don't have to say anything here, then you need to get off your computer and go watch Alien, then consider how much you wish you were that awesome. "Get away from her YOU BITCH"

Happy New Years

2008-12-31T08:35:00.002+10:00

So I never actually knew what the hell people sang Auld Lang Syne for. I know my great-grandma and her daughter call each other up at midnight to sing it to each other, which is freaking adorable. Translated, it means "old long since", or more literally "long long ago" or "days gone by".
Here's the English translation of the song from Robert Burns' original Scots verse (taken from the wiki article)

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old times since ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

So...ahem...there you have it I guess. I don't remember running about any slopes, picking daisies or paddling in streams this year. I did forget old friends, and drink some pints. This evening I'm sure that I'll drink some more.

I always like to spend new years with the people I care about the most, so tonight I'll be with my boyfriend and my two little brothers, playing xbox and chilling out. At midnight we'll go up to the top of the cemetery hill near my house and watch the fireworks over the city.

So here's to 2009 surpassing 2008 in every way. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the massive effort involved in remembering to write "09" everytime I write the date.

Current obsessions

2008-12-28T18:44:00.004+10:00

At the moment my head's in a weird place and I have not a lot to say, all I've been doing is looking and taking it all in. So here's a few things that are taking over my brain at the moment....

This blog post by Kate Harding about cyberbullying, please have a read. The second half of the post struck me especially hard and I really haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. It implores men to not condone or just stand by while other men make "jokes" about women being horrible. Except it says it a lot better than I did just then. I was reminded of it while watching SHITTY stand-up comedy with my teenage brothers, who got totally enraged at these idiots going on and on about women being terrible. It was really heartening to see them feel that way, because most other guys I know would have laughed right along, and worse, thought the jokes were funny. I'm just really glad that my little brothers have grown up to be people that I really love and admire.

This interview with Angelina Jolie and Clint Eastwood, interviewed by Andrew Denton on Enough Rope. Count me in Team Angelina dude. She is so intelligent, and caring and wonderful and fuck all the haters man, she can adopt as many bebbehs as she wants, because she can care for them all. I don't care much for her movies, cause truthfully, it's been a while since I saw her in something I liked...aside from Tomb Raider...but I love her outlook on life.

Zoe Bell, stuntwoman (youtube clip) - she's awesome, she could kick your ass, there's not a lot more that I can say here except she's my hero.

Peachypan, my housemate's friend Fee's store. She sells the most adorable stuff, "cute things for you and your hair". Must save up and buy all of it.

The Lottery by Shirley Jackson, awesome short story that I first listened to in a New Yorker podcast a while ago. Great to listen to on the bus to work and silently freak out over.

ZooBorns. Pictures of baby animals.

ROLLERGIRLS. I am buying rollerskates and learning to skate this year, and hopefully after enough time I can join a roller derby league. I search through flickr for hours just looking at Rollergirls and god, I am so in love with every single one of them. Look through my flickr favourites to see all the best photos I've found.

So I hope everyone had a great Christmas, I got to spend a week at the coast with my family enjoying far too much free alcohol and ham. I'll end with a pic of what I got for Christmas.

2008

2008-12-19T19:46:00.005+10:00

I was inspired by my housemate's vids of his "roundup" of the year (find his youtube channel here) and thought I'd have a go at summing up a year that I have found went really fast and I can't quite remember.

I saw in 2008 at a party at an amazing mansion in the country outside Townsville. I almost didn't go to the party, but I am so glad I did. We turned up this huge seemingly abandoned mansion, walking around trying to find everyone else. Eventually we opened a door where about 15 people were sitting around playing guitar hero on a huge projector screen. It was an amazing night, I was freshly single, completely happy and ready for the new year.

I have lived in five different houses this year. I moved to Brisbane in February from my parent's place in Townsville - my first day in Brisbane was Valentines Day.
I spent the first few months of my time here making awesome friends, going out of my comfort zone and never saying no to hang out. I drank so much that eventually my legs started cramping up every time I walked, like my body was trying to cripple me so I couldn't walk to the bar....but I showed it who's boss.

I met my awesome boyfriend Aaron and had fun times being adored again. I had a Tarantino party for my birthday where everyone got wasted and silly. I moved out of that house a week later into a house in Morningside with Lachie and Bowie. About two months later I moved into Aaron and my best friend Pan's house just around the corner. It's a crazy shambling run-down co-op house where every night I'd wake up and have to chase a possum off my bed. I spent two weeks wanting to die from having super-flu and losing my voice.

Then I had the good fortune to move in again with my most favourite housemate ever, Bowie.
Finally I feel at home, I've unpacked all my suitcases for the first time since I moved here. I love my house, I have two pet rats, my boyfriend lives with me and I'm just really settled.

I started a course in IT, I'm writing again and I bought a camera. I'm trying to get a little experience in everything. I like being creative. I love taking photos of anything.
Right now my family have come down from Townsville to spend the entire school holidays here, so I'm so excited to be spending so much time with my little brothers.

Next year my plans include saving up for an overseas trip at the end of next year, more writing and finishing my IT course in the hopes of getting a promotion at work. I've signed up for singing lessons starting in January and hope to get involved in a band, and I'm also looking into taking skating lessons and boxing. I want to play roller derby and kick some ass!

I'm happy with everything I've done this year. I'm blessed to have met the people in my life, and I'm excited to get to know the new ones better. I'm glad to have finally settled down and found the time to do things I want to do on my own.

Final thoughts: The only people who play their music extra loud when I'm trying to sleep or relax, only ever play extremely bad obnoxious music. Aussie hip-hop and techno? I guess if you play anything loud enough that it ruins your hearing, of course it'll sound good.

Discussions

2008-12-13T23:33:00.003+10:00

Addendum to my last post - a discussion with my brother, about things we hate at home. I'm glad I have someone who feels the same way as me about living with other people.

that's like my whole house
i am the mother figure
they boys get home from work, and the kitchen is clean, the dishes are done
Tash:
yeah, me too.
but man...****'s got the flu
and he's got this thing where if the bin is full
he'll just keep piling stuff on top
so the bin is piled with disgusting used tissues
and i'm just hoping that they'll be gone by the time i get home otherwise i'm gonna have to sass him
Nick:
housemates are so shit
Tash:
i know what the fuck, it's like none of them ever learned how to just fucking clean up after themselves
cept *****. he's an angel.
Nick:
you'd think that after seeing how much you clean, and how easy it is, they would feel bad, and atleast try
i spend, at the most, 30 minutes... dishes, kitchen tops, table tops, and sweep the floor... and the house is much better for it
Tash:
nah dude, the mind doesn't work like that. YOUR mind works like that but all they see is someone cleaning up after them
Nick:
and another thing...
people that leave an empty roll on the toilet roll holder...
Tash:
WHAT THE FUUUUCK
or people who don't buy toilet paper at all....let alone contribute to buying anything else in the house.
Nick:
it's like, if you had enough energy to get out of bed, but can't be bothered changing a toilet roll... somethings wrong there
Tash:
man, something's just fucking wrong with housemates straight up. i seriously don't get other people.
like, is there something wrong with ME because i'm not doing this?
oh man, but the worst housemate ever that i despised the most was *****
Nick:
breaking everything
Tash:
the toilet paper thing...
if she ran out of toilet paper, instead of putting the roll in the holder
she'd put it on top
Nick:
yeah, i think **** does that too
Tash:
it's the little things man....the little things that make you really snap. if you've got enough energy to put it there, why not put it on?
oh dude, ***** never dries his hands on a towel
Nick:
i can kind of understand that
Tash:
no, wait
the doorknobs get all wet
then he comes in and dries his hands on me.
Nick:
huh... well... i was about to say that, when i smell a towel/tea towel that hasn't been changed for weeks, it kinda makes me want to gag
Tash:
hahaha
ohhh i get all stabby when i see someone spill something on the floor then use the tea towel to wipe it up.
Nick:
yeah, we've only got 4!
and i'm the only one that washes them!
Tash:
sigh
the main thing in my house is the bins. that's what gets to me most.
Nick:
the entire kitchen is my private hell
Tash:
hahaha
Nick:
mainly the sink and fridge
the kitchen is cleaner after i've cooked, than after **** has cleaned
Tash:
hahahah
Nick:
i just don't understand what is wrong with that man. i clean up as i go, and it's EASY...
but after he's finished with the kitchen, there will be shit all over the counters, dirty cutlery everywhere, the milk/butter/something of mine that needs to be in the fridge will be sitting out
he forgets what he's doing half-way through it. like, once (i've probably told you), he was bringing in his washing, and half-way through... like, literally half-way - he had taken one of two pegs off a bed sheet - he went inside and read a magazine... and then went back out an hour later
okay, i'm getting carried away
Tash:
hahahahha
no it's cool man.
i'm going to do a blog post about share house ettiquette
i just need examples and things.
How Not to be a Fuckhead while living with Other People
Nick:
haha, sweet
finding our kitchen cloth submerged in greasy water, in a pot that could've been easily cleaned right after cooking but has been left so that everything is caked on and requires scrubbing, in a sink full of food scraps and dirty water
rather than dry, on the side
Tash:
yeahhh...dude i didn't use the kitchen for a couple of days and when i went to cook dinner one night, i cleaned it first, and i found a pan in the sink that had mold on it.
Nick:
eww
Tash:
and we have a DISHWASHER
Nick:
yeah, it doesn't even work if you try not to use the kitchen
actually, i'm thinking about saving up, and eating out for two weeks
Tash:
hahaha
Nick:
see what happens
gotta find all the cheap spots
and dinner deals
pub meals are my best bet
everything with a side of chips
Tash:
i hate the most when people use my stuff in the kitchen, like my good bowls and pots and stuff, then don't wash them. ***** ruined a cookie tray i'd just bought by burning the cookies then not cleaning the tray. it sat on the bench for a week before i just cleaned it myself.
Nick:
haha yeah, **** is slowly ruining ****'s colourful frying pan, but i don't see it... all i ever see is **** inspecting his pan, and being more and more disappointed
Tash:
awww
Nick:
he digs into the teflon with the spatula
it's all scratched up
and we had an oven tray that now can no longer be clean - there is oil on it that will not come off
Tash:
i haven't opened that box of saucepans mum bought me cause i'm too scared of what **** will do to them.
i think i might use them, clean them, then put them back in the box.

Yeah, I'm a little bitter

2008-12-13T23:13:00.005+10:00

Well I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away...

Shit housemates the world over, I curse your souls to hell.
In this post I am going to explain how incredibly easy it is to act like a mature person and live harmoniously in a house with other people. That is, if this were a perfect world and the other people lived the same way. Which is never the case. Because most people are fuckwits. Such is the folly that is sharehousing. So take heed, a few tips...

-We may be friends before moving in together. We may not be friends much longer after that. Granted, I will always consider you a friend, but I will forever disrespect you as a person once I see you at your darkest hour, in a pool of your own filth. Them's the breaks.
-Don't touch my stuff. Unless we've discussed it beforehand. Respect other people's possessions. I once had a housemate who repeatedly used my razor, even after me telling her not to. How does she know that I don't have AIDs? Srsly.
-Clean up after yourself when you cook. Does it really need to be said? Another housemate of mine liked to cook GIANT bowls of rice (my rice), then not eat any of it, and leave it in the fridge for weeks. Another point to this is that sometimes, there's only one bowl, or one pan, and when it's covered in mould from not being cleaned by the person who last used it, no one else can cook.
-It's safe to say, if you didn't buy it, don't fucking eat it.
-Parties on weeknights? Get a fucking job uni kids.
-It's seriously not that hard to clean. It takes half an hour at most. Oh I forgot that you had to spend that time sitting on the couch staring at the TV that's not even turned on.
-No, you don't need to download 50 games per week. Once again you've put us over the download limit. No it's okay, we enjoy dial-up speeds. No, really.
-TAKE OUT THE BIN. DEAR GOD, JUST TAKE IT OUT. You know what happens when you don't take out the bin? Maggots.

Above all, and encompassing all these things, is just be considerate to your housemates and take some fucking responsibility for yourself and your home. Because that's what it is. A home. Maybe to you it's a hotel, or a place to hold parties and occasionally sleep, or leave all your belongings at, but for the rest of us, it's a home, and we have to live here all the time. My parents live too far away for me to run away to.

I apologise for the massive vent this post has turned into, but I'm fucking bitter, and I think more people need to know this. I've had so many shit housemates. Sometimes I think I'm uptight, but I know there's others out there who have the same problem. It's just that the majority of people in sharehouses AREN'T that kind of person. My conclusion from all this?
I was meant to live alone with 50 cats.

The distant future, the year 2000

2008-12-08T22:54:00.007+10:00

The uncanny valley is a scale depicting the way humans react to facsimiles of humans - robots, puppets, anime that are created to look human. A less humanoid robot would be judged as a robot pretending to be human. A more anatomically correct robot is instead judged not as a robot but as a human doing a poor job at acting like a normal person. The fact that the entity looks almost fully human makes non-human characteristics stand out to a viewer. A point is reached between "barely human" and "fully human" that creates a feeling of repulsion. This point, or ebb, is called the uncanny valley - see the chart below.

I explained it to my brother thus; we find Woody from Toy Story more likeable than a robot whose face is essentially human because we can tell that the robot's face isn't quite human, it's imitating. Woody is not anatomically correct, therefore more likeable.

What I'm trying to say here is that Nicole 'Stoneface' Kidman lies squarely at the bottom of the uncanny valley. This is why I am not going to see Australia. So please don't ask me to go with you. The thought terrifies me.
"Hugh Jackman....help....can't....move....face...."

Dad

2008-12-05T23:34:00.003+10:00

please be philosophical
please be tapped into your feminity
please be able to take the wheel from me
please be crazy and curious

papa love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar
papa cry for your princess so that she will find gentle princes familiar

please be a sexaholic
please be unpredictably miserable
please be self absorbed much (not the good kind)
please be addicted to some substance

papa listen to your princess so that she will find attentive princes familiar
papa hear your princess so that she will find curious princes familiar

please be the jerk of my knee i've fit you always
you finish my sentences I think I love you
what is your name again no matter i'm guessing your thoughts again
correctly and I love the way
you press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you

papa laugh with your princess so that she will find funny princes familiar
papa respect your princess so that she will find respectful princes familiar

please be strangely enigmatic
please be just like my....

If you leap awake in the mirror of a bad dr eam.
And for a fraction of a second you can't remember where you are.
Just open your window and follow your memory upstream.
To the meadow in the mountain where we counted every falling star .

I believe a light that shines on you will shine on you forever.
And though I can’t guarantee there’s nothing scary hiding under your bed.
I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a Golden Retriever.
And never leave ‘til I leave you with a sweet dream in your head.

I'm gonna watch you shine.
Gonna watch you grow.
Gonna paint a sign.
So you'll always know.
As long as one and one is two.
There could never be a father;
Who loved his daughter more than I love you.

Trust your intuition.
It’s just like goin’ fishin’;
You cast your line and hope you get a bite.
But you don’t need to waste your time.
Worryin’ about the market place
Try to help the human race.
Struggling to survive its harshest night.

I'm gonna watch you shine.
Gonna watch you grow.
Gonna paint a sign.
So you'll always know.
As long as one and one is two.
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you.

Friday Night Drunk

2008-12-05T22:02:00.003+10:00

Just a quick one because I feel like telling people to watch Hairspray because it makes you feel happy.
I'm interested in self-portraiture, but I have no idea how to make my photos look as good as the people's on flickr. I'm still trying. See below. Yes I installed photoshop for the first time. Yes I made my skin green.
I'm drinking brandy, lime cordial and sprite. Anything green must be good.
My favourite song at the moment is "Let's Do It" as sung by Alanis Morissette - by the way, how much does Alanis rule the entire world? If you don't believe me, check out THIS vid and try to prove me wrong.
Just finished reading Kingdom of Fear by Hunter S Thompson and I must recommend it - sort of an autobiography, he's an amazing person, made me laugh out loud on the bus at times.
I'm going to see Billy Joel tomorrow night and you are definitely jealous right now.
Night world.

Tash Bites

2008-11-30T20:12:00.006+10:00

I recently listened to a podcast of an interview with Nigella Lawson, if you haven't heard of her or watched her cooking show on your own at night...well you're definitely missing out, and I'm sure you feel a deep fissure in your soul that can never be filled. Her views on eating, cooking and food are awesome, so healthy and I love her. Here's a couple of quotes that really struck me.
"when I see a picture of someone who’s really hugely fat I don’t think how hideous, I think how delicious it must have been to get there."
(Talking about how she could not have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy eating) "I think that when I see those people who are forever on diets and treat their body as a much feared enemy I think they don’t look like they’re having much fun"
(Talking about her show having a sensual tone) "and I also think that there is something seeing a woman have appetite feels slightly lascivious to people. I think there is something still deemed to be either unseemly or wanton about a woman showing appetite"

Now, let me state, I freaking LOVE food. I have this habit on Sunday nights of cooking giant meals and making a whole bunch of snacks for me to eat during the week at work. It saves me so much money and time, freaking out each morning trying to figure out what to take to work, or having to pay $15 for lunch if I get take away.
Having lived so long on the lowest income you can imagine, I've perfected the art of eating on a budget. Here's a list of items I always keep in my cupboard:

-Pasta shells/penne. Awesome for making pasta bakes and salads to get rid of vegetables before they go off/leftover anything. You can make anything into a pasta bake.
-Mince. Although, that doesn't go in the cupboard.
-Tomato sauce, for the mince.
-Mushrooms. I add them to everything. I mostly keep them just for the smell they give off when you saute them in butter. Pure heaven.
-Spinach. I'm strong to the finish.
-Beans. Duh.
-Potatoes. Chips, mash, baked, roast, potato-top pie. 2008 is actually the United Nations International Year of the Potato - in honour of the most versatile food in all the lands. Huzzah!
-Tuna. Awesome.
-Some type of rice. My favourite is arborio, cause I'm all into risotto at the moment.

That being said, here's what I spent the last three hours doing!
First up, caramelised apples. Saute some Granny Smith apples in butter and brown sugar = yum. I add them to my oatmeal in the morning for the most awesome breakfast ever. Plus, cause they're apples, I can pretend it's good for me.

Next, I made a crazy quinoa salad to use up all the vegetables that were about to go off in my fridge, plus I've had some free trade quinoa in my cupboard for ages that I've been meaning to use. Quinoa is a grain from South America, it gets all fluffy and strange when you boil it. It's like rice but circular, and it has a strange nutty flavour. I got hooked on it after a visit to Oxfam a while ago. The salad consists of red quinoa, spinach, cucumber, corn, beans and pine nuts. I love adding pine nuts or cashews to salads.

And now for dinner - boring old spaghetti. But goddamn it tastes so good. I keep it pretty simple - tomato paste, mixed herbs, garlic, onions, shitloads of mushrooms and some spinach.

Beer to celebrate. Thanks, whoever left that in the fridge!

Reading is awesome

2008-11-26T20:18:00.005+10:00

I finally got myself a bookshelf and was able to unpack all of my books from the darkness of the garage, so here's a list of my favourite books in no particular order. I do want to add that these favourite books are only the ones I own. There are so many books I am in love with that I can't remember right now because I'm transfixed by my collection. Pretty much every book I ever read is my favourite, because I don't continue reading a book unless it's awesome. Why waste time on crap lit?

The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
I have no problem reading this sweetly sad book over and over again. It's dreamy and I swear I can smell perfume when I read it, and it puts my mind in a haze for days after I'm finished.

The Beach - Alex Garland
Excellent fast-paced backpacking adventure that the movie with Leo was based on. Much longer and more involved and way cooler, makes me want to go to Thailand.

Still Life with Woodpecker - Tom Robbins
Princesses! Outlaws! Bombs! Redheads! True Love! This book's got everything and it's just...I don't really think I've ever come up with an apt description for it, but it's fantastic, and probably my favourite book.

Dante's Inferno
This mega-poem makes me wish I believed in God, so I could believe in Hell, so I could imagine Hell was as horrifying as this. And that some people I knew were headed there.
Simply amazing, and I think it's aged well.

He Died with a Felafel in his Hand - John Birmingham
While I was living in Townsville I would read this book every month (it only takes an hour) because it made me so homesick for Brisbane. I used to pair it up with a Nick Earls book (also based in Brizzie) and spend weeks afterwards being upset about living where I did. Awesome book about sharehousing around Australia. By the way, John Birmingham does a regular column for brisbanetimes.com.au here.

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 - Hunter S. Thompson
Before this all I'd ever known of HST was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and that he was a drug-gobbling freak. This book introduced me to what he actually does, and the fact that he's actually the smartest most interesting drug-gobbling freak ever. I love HST. This book also kindled my interest in politics.

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
This is just one of those books that you can't help but love. Just amazing.

Now I'm going to try and choose only 2 of my favourite Stephen King books...

Gerald's Game
Actually made me throw up and pass out. Also I didn't sleep for 3 nights afterwards. Read it and see. I have a phobia of people touching my wrists, or not being able to move my arms.

Pet Sematary
There's horror, there's despair, there's disgust. It's all here. I cried, I didn't sleep, it was powerful.

So...read more people.
At the moment I am reading a piece of feminist sci fi, The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin, which is interesting as I'm not really into sci fi but this is grabbing me.
I'm also reading Kingdom of Fear by HST which is sort of his autobiography, with a mess of letters, stories, memos and whatnot thrown in together. It's chaotic and I love it.

You are rude

2008-11-26T20:07:00.004+10:00

I am completely amazed at what our new employee deems appropriate to do and say in the workplace. General consensus is that most (not all) of us are totally offended, but won't say anything because he is supposed to be our senior and we feel like we have to just get used to it.

As the only girl I'm not okay with being called "sweetness", or the time when he said "why are all these banks closing?!" and then told me "it's okay, I don't expect you to know anything about it".
That's fine, I don't expect you to know anything about me.
I doubt my Aboriginal coworker is okay with hearing the word "niggaz" being spouted, as well as the remark made the other day whilst we were listening to hip hop that he "feels so black".
Another exchange which apparently happened of course while I was out of the office - one coworker joked that another was a girl. The new guy then loudly exclaimed that he couldn't be - "his tits are too small and his clit is too big". Because that's FUNNY!!

The dynamics of our office team have been fantastic until now. We've all known each other for such a long time we either literally are family, or as close as you can get to it. Perhaps we are having a hard time adjusting, but I don't feel I should have to adjust to things I find so blatantly outrageous and offensive.
At the end of the day, I feel there is more ridiculous bullshit coming from him than there is work, which is the largest problem.

To be or not to be

2008-11-21T20:35:00.003+10:00

That is the question.

Zombies.

Zombies are awesome. I love zombie movies regardless of how shit the casting/dialogue/plot is. Even if it's the shittiest movie...I LOVE zombies! I love zombies so much that I even bought a bag of plastic zombies, very much like little tiny plastic army men, just to decorate my room. They're actually supposed to be pieces for a board game but fuck that. I have one on my doorknob and I always forget that he's there, so when I close my door and touch him without seeing him I freak out because he feels like a spider or something disgusting...and then I realise it's a zombie and I sigh in relief.

I wish zombies were real. I have a really big dilemma though. If zombies were real, would I rather be a zombie, or kill them? I like to switch between the two in my mind, because they're equally as cool. I love to imagine myself just cutting through a crowd of them, using a chainsaw. It'd be like unleashing every inner rage on humanity, but since it's ok to kill zombies, it's even better. You know, cause they're not really human but they still resemble them. It gives you release. I am going to at this moment plug the game Left 4 Dead which is AMAZING. Anyone who doesn't have Steam at this moment should be punched in the throat then laughed at by a large group of their peers.

But BEING a zombie? That's amazing. Brainless wandering. BRAINS! Eating people. No pain when you get a round of bullets in the gut? God. That shit is fuckin awesome. I fucking love zombies. Especially the running, screaming, blood-vomiting ones. I love you zombies.

Here's something I found that I wrote when I was 16, along with my brother. We were discussing the concepts of love songs and leftovers. They are so perfectly intertwined - a lot of my favourite love songs deal with the subject of being unrequited, or alone, and leftovers remind me of this state of being alone.

Cold Pasta under the milky way tonight. Yesterday's ravioli will throw it's arms around me, it will make me laugh and me cry, and I may never forget it. Who wouldn't stand inside your stale pizza? Steps out of the stroganoff, says something like...you and me beef, how about it? Something in the way pasta moves. Wild horses couldn't drag me away, wild wild horses, we'll eat mince someday. I, I will eat mince, and you, you will eat beans! Though nothing, nothing will make us eat tacos, we can be deros, just for one day! Lentils, you should've come over. I would do anything for sausages, but I won't do that, no I won't do that. Love is a warm wet relish on prawns.

And I know I'm right for the first time in my life, and that's why I tell you...you better be warm soon.

Living with the boyfriend

2008-11-19T21:57:00.004+10:00

I may be going a little too TMI in this post, but I've decided to list the pros and cons of living with my boyfriend. I've been thinking a lot about dynamics of living in a share house, so I'll be exploring that in a few more posts to follow. Here though, I guess I'm looking at my relationship and why it works, or sometimes explodes into shit - and why I keep working at it. Maybe someone out there will read this and reconsider moving in with their significant other, or be totally amped up to! I'm going to start with the cons so I can end on a happy note.

CONS
- Due to the set up of our work schedules, we go between either hardly seeing each other all week, or spending TOO much time together and never having a moment alone.
- It's easy to fall into the routine of doing absolutely everything together and never seeing any friends.
- Sharing a room. Ours is small enough already without having to fit the belongings of two compulsive hoarders. Add to this that he's messy and I'm neat, I often find myself cleaning up the room by throwing everything in a pile in "his corner".
- I've ended up doing all the cooking and cleaning and feel like a housewife. This is my fault - I love cooking so I do it all the time, but the cleaning issue is just annoying. I read a comment on a forum today that I think sums it up perfectly, and can probably be attributed to any housemate situation ever.
'I think it has to do with what I've seen called "housework chicken." Let's say you live with a guy like this, and there are everyday maintenance chores that need to be done. He doesn't really care if these things get done (in part because he knows someone else will do them eventually), but the nature of the chores means someone has to do them. Sooooo "the girl" ends up doing them, and she gets cast into the role of the mother/nag for caring about housework, while he's the cool guy who doesn't "overreact" and also doesn't have to do the housework, and he can just say she should lighten up. Otherwise, they just live in filth until the "housework chicken" ends.'
It doesn't help that I'm a clean freak, and on the rare occasions that he does clean, it'll be a half-assed job that I'll end up secretly redoing anyway. I guess, if you want something done properly, do it yourself.
- Can't escape. I don't have anywhere to run to if I want to get away. My parents don't live near me. I don't really want to stay at a friend's house. This is my house.
- Forget about dates. We see each other all the time and end up ignoring each other sitting in the same room. Dates are a thing of the past. Or the way we end a fight.
- Downloads. Dude, the more time you spend on your laptop ignoring me, the more time I'm gonna spend on mine ignoring you. Then hey presto, we're over the download limit and we have dial-up speed internet. I blame you.
- His clothes. How the fuck can you exist on one pair of pants? It's seriously a fucking talent.

PROS
- Always got a friend. Always around to share the banal moments, to talk shit, to listen to me whine, to watch TV with, go to the city, play with our rats, or just to lie in bed all day Sunday.
- I don't have to spend rent on a house I'm only living in half the week because I'm spending the other half at his house. No packing bags of work clothes and lunch to go stay the night. No travelling for an hour on public transport to see each other.
- Sharing the costs. Damn you low income. Damn you rental market. Damn you economy.
- Falling asleep together. I just sleep better when he's around (nyawwww).
- Your DVD collection. I will never bother going to the video store again.
- Someone to look after me when I'm throwing-up-drunk, and buy me powerades the morning after.
- Having a calm, cynical, pessimistic voice in a world of optimists who make me sick.
- Someone to push me to keep doing the stuff I want to be doing (writing, art).
- Staying away from my friends. It's cool. Most of them think he doesn't exist.
- I just like having him around.

Ahem...I mean...'sif dude I don't care about NO ONE AND NO THING.
Thank you and goodnight.

A little deeper

2008-11-17T20:44:00.007+10:00

My greatest joy over the past two days has been my new rat, Reagan. She is the cutest, sweetest little girl, with the softest little belly. She was the oldest rat at the pet store, and since most people have a preference for baby rats, I thought I'd help a sista out and give her a home. Turns out I got lucky cause she's already extremely tame and just...freakin adorable.

Our other rat Jackie is having a hella freakout and attacking her all the time, which is really sad to watch, cause Reagan will just squeak, then sit there being groomed violently by Jackie, and after she's done, Reagan just sits motionless, looking completely violated. So we've switched her into another cage next door till they get used to each other's smell.

Watching the tensions between my two lady-rats for hours this evening has made me think about an article I read today. I know, that was the worst segue into another topic EVER, but I thought I'd at least *try* to make some connection.

I read THIS article today about a quote from the usually babelicious and awesome Helen Mirren. In it, she has said in an interview with the Sunday Times over in UK that in a rape case the defence "would select as many women as they could for the jury, because women go against women.

'Whether in a deep-seated animalistic way, going back billions of years, or from a sense of tribal jealousy or just antagonism, I don't know.

'But other women on a rape case would say she was asking for it. The only reason I can think of is that they're sexually jealous"

WTF DUDE. Okay, I will cede that her first point that "women go against women" can ring true often. But in a rape case, one could be are sexually jealous? Could a contributing factor to this view be that, in our society, when a woman is raped and is brave enough to come forward and name her rapist, she is harshly scrutinised and often met with disbelief - especially if she knew her attacker, and without having to quote any stupid statistics, being raped by someone you know is FAR more common than stranger rape. So what was she doing to "deserve" it, what was she wearing, did she "provoke" that behaviour? The underlying theme here is WAS IT HER FAULT? And the answer is, duh, a resounding NO! There is no woman, ever, who is at fault for a rape. It really is that simple.
Here's what the Brisbane Sexual Assault Services defines as sexual assault:

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual behaviour where consent is not given or cannot be given and includes childhood abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, touching and rape. Sexual assault is an act of violence. It is about power and control acted out in a sexual way. Sexual assault is a crime, whether the offender is a stranger, partner, family member, friend or care giver.

To follow that all up I have this other great article from over at Feministing about sexual assault training and education that is focused on men. Instead of classes focused on women, how you should watch your drinks (which you should) or not walk down dark alleys at night, how about starting with dudes - I liked this quote from the article:

"Hey, see that girl over there?" Jones recalled an acquaintance asking, nodding toward a woman he wanted to take home. "She's almost drunk. Not quite drunk enough. ... What shot should I buy her?"

There was a time, Jones says, when he might have laughed off the remark. Not anymore.

"You want to buy her something really strong to like, basically knock her out?" Jones, a University of Minnesota senior, recalled saying. "Man, that's not right. That's rape. That's sexual assault."

The acquaintance looked stunned. "Whatever," he mumbled, and walked away.

I would absolutely LOVE to see this change in the guys that I know, as this has happened to me - I have had friends of mine say offensive things to me, and I think that because I'm a "tomboy" they think I will agree with them. No dude, it ain't cool.

To end on a completely unrelated and adorable note, here's another picture of Reagan. Love you!

Ramal

2008-11-14T20:31:00.006+10:00

Feeling pretty schlumpy on this fine Friday night, so I'm going to post a short story I wrote I think a bit more than a year ago. It was when I was still living in Townsville, and my entire family were all living in the one house - my parents, me and my three brothers (and our chihuahuas!). I've really been missing that time lately - my brothers and I became really close and spent most of our time together. I miss the hours we'd spend together just laying around, listening to music or watching someone play a game on the computer, talking, laughing. I think I credit my style of creativity to my brothers, and the things we came up with together.
My brothers are my absolute favourite people in the entire world, I'm more comfortable with them than anyone else, I love the people they are, or are growing up to be. It's no secret that I hate Townsville, I hated being there, and the only thing that kept me sane (if you could call it that) was my family.
The one place I did love in Townsville was the walking path along the Ross River - it was this beautiful damp, dark, bushy path beside the river, with mosquitos and droopy trees. I used to walk along it every single day after work for the last two months I lived there, and just think and dream.
So here's a story I wrote one day after it had been raining for about a week. Nick and I went for a walk down by the river to take photos and explore. Dedicated to Nick, Jay and Mitchie.

Ramal owns the park. We went for a walk on the moors beside the park, down the concrete stair. We walked most of the way snaking the river and when we went back his name was written in the patch of sand near the stair. He wanted us to know that he was watching. After that we walked around the park and stopped in some big old trees to take photographs of the hanging vines, the names carved in, the old string with popped balloons. A couple of kids rode past, watching us silently. Probably Ramal's friends. Spies. Sending them out for information on these strange outsiders.

We kept walking, stopping now and then to take photos of mushrooms, or a swing in someone's exposed back yard. It looked more jungle than house. None of the houses bordering the river have back fences, some just huge flowering trees, like flowers could keep out robbers. These people probably let Ramal wander into their homes, watch TV, go through their fridge. Watching out for him, they think, but it's really the other way round.
We found a pile of sticks like a kid's campfire. Probably Ramal, he eats where he likes.

I had mud in my shoes, my work shoes, and I squelched when I walked. There were mosquito bites up and down my arms from venturing into those trees. The trees that grew like the inside of the Alien spaceship looks, all twisted muscle and womblike.
We eventually made it to the weir, where we took photos of the crags and trees growing in the huge river, middle of nowhere trees. Dirty looking foam gathering in the pools at the outer sides. Four men were standing on the gushing weir, fishing. The overspill looked strong enough to push you over but they just stood, casting, not catching anything.
Tanned and leather-brown from all their time in the sun, we laughed at the thought of how incredibly pale we were. An obvious sign, along with our puff and sweating that we never went out for walks. Could they tell? We took photos of them with their backs turned and walked on.

We sat in a perfect gazebo, changing film and stared for a few minutes. Found a playground where Nick took shots of me. Walking across a chain bridge I was surprised how much it hurt my feet, surprised how the fireman's pole rubbed my hands and the slide looked hopelessly small, the entire playground breakneck. Was it like that when I was small, did it hurt?

Crossing the weir had brought us to the rich suburb, and it was unsettling. We crossed back into the mosquito and pot-hole squalor of our own neighbourhood. Speculating about how Ramal lives in a hollowed-out cave in the weir. He has to shimmy under the waterfall to get inside. Every kid that passed was a minion of Ramal. All these kids have bikes. More names carved in a tree, handprints in cement. Ramal's Park.

The unfenced houses looked so inviting, I was tempted to break in, just walk around in the gloom. Overcast day, the whole world is grey, but somehow I'm still sunburnt.
Girls walking the track in front of us, would they freak out if we walked up close behind them? Not talking, staring at the back of their heads, maybe making a low-pitched breathing sound like in Doom.
Ramal would find out.

More photos of mushrooms, remind me of my friend who ate magic ones. Where can I get some?
Ramal is a modern day Peter Pan, Robin Hood. Maybe he's a ghost, maybe he died in this park and now he's here to protect all the other kids. Maybe his mother left him in this park when he was a baby, and it's all he knows. Wonder if he patrols at night. He probably skateboards while the other kids ride bikes. He's probably ninth grade, or at least would be if he went to school. Old enough so the other kids look up to him. The only thing I know for sure, if you go down to the park...Ramal's watching.

So there it is, hope you enjoyed it.
On another note, I've had this massive craving all day for cakes, pastries, pancakes, custard, DESSERT.
So I went to Foodworks and went a little mental with my grocery money, and now instead of eating any real meals this week I will be living on a solid diet of pancakes and cream. Here's my first attempt at making an awesome dessert...chocolate poundcake (the best kind of cake) with custard and blackberries, microwave for two minutes, enjoy.

My good deeds for the week

2008-11-11T22:52:00.006+10:00

This week I donated to Mission Australia and am looking forward to the Walk Against Warming this Saturday 15th November. For anyone interested, the Brisbane walk will be starting out at 12.30pm in Queens Park (behind the Casino) and heading to the Roma St Parklands Ampitheatre. Bring an umbrella if you have one, as it will be celebrating Australia finally being under the "Kyoto umbrella". If you can't make it you can also donate online, or buy a shirt, if you're feeling so inclined.

Mission Australia is a non-denominational Christian organisation, their statement reads 'Our vision is to see a fairer Australia by enabling people in need to find pathways to a better life'. There's a bit of Jesus talk in there, but their main focus is on helping homeless, broken families, children in need.
I'm pretty much a sucker for donating to anything I approve of that flows through my postbox, and Mission Australia was it this week.

Walk Against Warming has some sweet links on their website for reducing your environmental impact - which is great, because I haven't been the most friendly with it myself. I'll repost here for anyone not interested in the WAW website.

Take Action - WWF Australia
Queensland Conservation Council - check out the 'Current Campaigns' section
Nature Conservation Council of NSW
and one last one, a guide from the Department of Environment, Water, Heritage and the Arts

I'm also saving up for some big donations to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and the Breast Cancer Institute of Australia. Boobies are important, people!

Also a big thumbs up to any dudes participating in Movember this month to raise awareness for men's health issues. If you are participating and would like a sponsor, leave a comment for me with your registration number and your link and I'll donate. And I'm going to want pictures too - let's see some handlebars, porn stars, hitlers, curly French waiters and my least favourite - the flavour saver.

So come on, give it up, and remember, anything over $2 is tax deductible (keep your receipt).

Chick Porn

2008-11-10T23:22:00.007+10:00

I have recently kind of fallen in love with blogger Violet Blue @ tinynibbles.com
She is a sex blogger, podcaster, vlogger, author, lecturer, all-round badass. I've been going through her podcasts like it's going out of style - she has an EXCELLENT voice. Her podcasts range from informational sex stuff - I just listened to a somewhat scientific one about the G-Spot - to her reading erotica excerpts. Can't wait to have some more money so I can actually afford to buy some of her books/audiobooks.

I haven't really ever gotten into porn or erotica, always being on a networked/family computer and whatnot. When I was younger I got a virus on my computer and it was, uh, duh, embarassing.
So now I'm sort of edging back into it - I still think that visual porn is not for me, but that could be because I don't know what to look for - or am confused as to what I should be looking for. Most mainstream porn I see is so manufactured and boring - with overtones of the female in pain - "Oh fuck me harder, yeah you like that bitch". Then on the other end, the only other porn I ever see is marketed to fetishists, of which I am not - or at least I don't know if I am.

Here's an excerpt from a book I just finished reading, The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. It resonated enough with me and how I feel about sexuality, that I had to mark it out.

"The books and films they see survey from the young boy's point of view his first touch of a girl's thighs, his first glimpse of her breasts. The girls sit listening, absorbing, their familiar breasts estranged as if they were not part of their bodies, their thighs crossed self-consciously, learning how to leave their bodies and watch them from the outside. Since their bodies are seen from the point of view of strangeness and desire, it is no wonder that would should be familiar, felt to be whole, becomes estranged and divided into parts. What little girls learn is not the desire for the other, but the desire to be desired. Girls learn to watch their sex along with the boys; that takes up the space that should be devoted to finding out about what they are wanting, and reading and writing about it, seeking and getting it. Sex is held hostage by beauty and its ransom terms are engraved in girls' minds early and deeply with instruments more beautiful than those which advertisers or pornographers know how to use: literature, poetry, painting and film."

And here's excerpt from another book I'm reading, Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy. It's a pretty accurate reason as to why I find most porn boring.

"Sex workers are workers. They are having sex, just as strippers are stripping and centerfolds are posing, because they are paid to, not because they are in the mood to.... For the rest of us who are lucky or industrious enough to make a living doing other things, sex is supposed to be something we do for pleasure or an expression of love. The best erotic role models, then, would seem to be the women who get the most pleasure out of sex, not the women who make the most money for it."

Sorry for all the excerpts in this post, but those are two I wanted to share and promote a little thought/awareness to this. People masturbate, people have fantasies, people have sex, it's all cool.
To end on a happy note, here's some literotica!

Hello world!

2008-11-10T18:05:00.001+10:00

I am an internet addict. My brother said that the internet is my hobby.
I love blogs, feeds, podcasts and vlogs. I love webcomics, lolcats, memes and 133tspeak. I read news that doesn't even make sense or relate to me. I love Top 10 lists and I love miscellania blogs. I love online surveys! I love getting free samples, and I love online stores. I love maps and Google Streetview and yellowpages. I love Firefox and its many apps. I love social networking (a little too much). I love free music and video. I love forums and posts and threads, but I do hate trolls. I love user generated content and wikis and urban dictionary.
I love that this is the first time in years that I've felt confident enough to voice my opinions. So here goes.

My name is Tash, you can call me zombietron. As this is my first blog and I'm still struggling a little with how much I am willing to share and what I want to discuss in regards to the people close to me, I'm going to be very benign and begin by sharing my three favourite websites.

Flickr.com
A while ago my wonderful cousin told me to buy a camera, because no matter how bored/poor you are you can always go out and photograph something beautiful. Flickr is a photosharing website with millions of photos from amateurs through to pros. It's pretty in-depth and customisable, which I love. Being able to scroll through thousands of photos and mark them as favourites, make random friends through their photostreams, participate in group photo projects, get inspired. It's basically my favourite creative outlet at the moment and I recommend a look even if you don't own a camera. Here's my flickr. I am still quite an amateur and working out how to take good photos, instead of just regular ones but there's a great kind of community there that sort of feels like it's not about how NICE your photo is - more about the content. Which someone with extremely shaky hands such as myself can appreciate.

Etsy.com
I usually described etsy to people as 'ebay for handmade stuff'. It's not auction-based though, prices are fixed. It's a huge online community for the arts and crafts set, to sell their wares and actually make a profit, as they do it all on their own steam - producing, marketing, shipping. There are some amazingly talented people there and all kinds of crazy one-of-a-kind stuff. It's also a great source for vintage-lovers. Here's a few things I've picked up...

Fancy jacket from etsy seller masque242
Zombie necklace with brains from etsy seller LadySpleen
Tentacle earrings from etsy seller RobotGhost
As I've said there are some AWESOME artists on etsy who really deserve a shout-out, which I will get to in a later post. In the meantime, head there yourself and browse. I can waste hours on etsy.

Jezebel.com
My love for Jezebel could be another post in itself. I stumbled upon it at a time when I was confused and upset at a lot that was going on in my life and the messages it sends, and the community of strong, hilarious, opinionated women who post there has really changed my life and my views. In a nutshell Jezebel is a feminist forum that takes a look at our culture, our news, celebrity, sex, being a chick. It's kind of news by feminists. Oh and newsflash!! Feminists aren't all angry and ugly. But that's more for another post.

Hope you enjoyed this virgin post, and do stay tuned for the next. I have renewed my passion for writing so be assured there will be LOTS more from me.